Guys, How Do You React On Recruiters' Spam?

The boardroom meeting where someone suggests actually treating developers like humans with real accomplishments instead of keyword-matching bots. Naturally, they get defenestrated for such heresy.

Because nothing says "we value your expertise" quite like a recruiter who clearly didn't read your profile, offers you a "ninja" role with "rockstar" potential, asks about your yoga teaching experience when you're a backend engineer, and promises "competitive pay" (spoiler: it's not competitive).

The person suggesting they actually explain the projects and compensation? Yeah, that's too much transparency for the recruiting industrial complex. Out the window you go.