Fort Ran From String Manipulation

The left side shows the beefy, muscular Doge representing Fortran—the ancient powerhouse of scientific computing—flexing its numerical computation muscles. Meanwhile, the weak Doge on the right is begging for mercy from string manipulation tasks, which Fortran handles about as gracefully as a physicist at a poetry slam. This is basically every scientific programmer from the 60s who chose Fortran for its blazing fast number crunching, then spent the next decade crying whenever they needed to process text. The language was literally designed by people who thought "who needs words when you have EQUATIONS?"