String manipulation Memes

Posts tagged with String manipulation

Is There A Better Way To Do This

Is There A Better Way To Do This
Ah, the classic "let me check every possible capitalization pattern" approach! This developer is manually checking for true , True , TRue , TRUe and then the same for false variants instead of just using toLowerCase() once and comparing to a standard value. The function even returns maybe if neither pattern matches, which is both hilarious and terrifying for Boolean logic. Somewhere, a computer science professor is feeling a disturbance in the force. This is the kind of code that makes code reviewers develop eye twitches and start muttering "string.toLowerCase() === 'true'" in their sleep.

This Works Don't Worry About It

This Works Don't Worry About It
Ah yes, the classic "assign string values to boolean variables and then use them in boolean expressions" approach. Nothing like setting true = "false" and false = "true" to ensure your future self has a mental breakdown during debugging. The condition if(true/false==false/true) is just *chef's kiss* - comparing divisions of strings masquerading as booleans. And that true = false + false line? String concatenation disguised as addition in a boolean context. Whoever wrote this probably also enjoys putting pineapple on pizza and using spaces instead of tabs.

Showing My Friend My Foolproof Parse Int Method

Showing My Friend My Foolproof Parse Int Method
The eternal struggle between doing things right and doing things that work. Instead of using parseInt() or Number() like a civilized developer, this mad genius is just removing the quotation marks with replaceAll() to convert a string to a number. It's the coding equivalent of using a hammer to screw in a lightbulb - horrifying yet somehow it works. The face on the left is every senior dev witnessing this crime against programming humanity, while the face on the right is the junior who's just proud they "solved" the problem without reading the docs.

String Splitting: Elegant To Explosive

String Splitting: Elegant To Explosive
Oh. My. GOD. The absolute AUDACITY of programming languages to name their string-splitting functions with such DRAMA! ๐Ÿ’… Java's all proper and boring with its lowercase split() - just SCREAMS "I have a CS degree and iron my jeans." ๐Ÿ™„ Then C# struts in wearing a TUXEDO with that capital S in Split() like "I'm basically Java but with STANDARDS, darling." โœจ But PHP? HONEY! PHP chose VIOLENCE with explode() because apparently splitting strings isn't DRAMATIC enough! Why divide when you can DETONATE?! The function literally TERRORIZES your strings into submission! I. CAN'T. EVEN. ๐Ÿ’ฃ

Why Can't It Convert Automatically?

Why Can't It Convert Automatically?
C# compiler: "You can't convert char to string." Me, reaching for my trusty .ToString() method like it's a hall pass: "Not to worry. I have a permit." The permit? Just the same damn method I've been slapping on every object since 2002. Six years of software architecture experience and I'm still solving problems by mindlessly appending .ToString() like it's duct tape for code. Works every time until it doesn't.