Don't Mind Me, Just A Markup Language Among The Code

OH. MY. GOD. The absolute TRAGEDY of every software project ever! 😱 Someone mentions "Agile" and everyone nods enthusiastically while secretly implementing the most convoluted waterfall process known to mankind! It's like claiming you're on a diet while inhaling an entire chocolate cake! "We're doing Agile" they say, as they schedule 17 unnecessary meetings, create documentation nobody will read, and wait for sign-off from 37 different stakeholders. Honey, adding daily standups to your rigid, micromanaged death march doesn't make it Agile - it just makes it waterfall with EXTRA STEPS! The audacity! The delusion! The project management lies we tell ourselves!

The pedantic programmer strikes again! While normal people casually say "age is just a number," the developer in the room can't help but interrupt with their technically correct but socially oblivious correction. In most programming languages, age would indeed be stored as a string when input from a form before conversion—a fact absolutely nobody asked for or needed to know at that moment. It's the coding equivalent of responding "actually, it's spelled 'you're'" to someone pouring their heart out in a text message.

Content What if You Wanted to go to Heaven But god said ProarammerHumor.io Every time you used sqrt0, you never thought of "square root", did you? made with mematic

Content Programming Alone c a b; Programming While Someone Watches A function that adds two numbers Returns the sum of a and b unsigned int Add (unsigned int a, unsigned int b) unsigned int sum a b; unsigned int carry a b; while (carry ! 0) carry carry 1 a sum: b carry; sum a b; carry a b; return sum;

Content When you get paid to write 2 lines of code, cry, and don't have to speak during meetings and.thats when the big bucks start rolling in ProdrammerHumor.io

Content STOP USING ARRAYS LISTS WERE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE INDEXABLE YEARS OF INDEXING yet NO REAL-WORLD USE FOUND for accessing elements in any order other than FORWARD Wanted random access anyway for a laugh? We had a tool for that: It was called "PASSING BY REFERENCE" "Yes please give be the ZEROth item. Please give me the item WHOSE INDEX IS THE SIZE OF THE ARRAY MINUS ONE" - Statements dreamed up by the utterly Deranged LOOK at what Programmers have been demanding your Respect for all this time, with all the items contiguous memory we gave them (This is REAL Code, done by REAL Programmers): f (isArray (source) isString(source)) for (let i - 0, 1 - source. length; - renderItem(source i, i) const i queue. indexof (job) if (i flushIndex) queue.splice(i, 1) ????? ??????? ????????????????? "Hello I would like you to read this book one random page at a time please" They have played us for absolute fools