Breaking Prod: The Chemistry Of Failed Deployments

Content When I have to open task manager to kill task manager

Content A CRYPTO NERDS IMAGINATION: HIS LAPTOPS ENCRYPTED. LET'S BUILD A MILLION-DOLLAR CLUSTER TO CRACK IT. NO GOOD! IT'S 4096 -BIT RSA! BLAST! OUR EVIL PLAN 15 FOILED! WHAT WOULD ACTUALLY HAPPEN: HIS LAPTOP'S ENCRYPTED. DRUG HIM AND HIT HIM WITH THIS 5 WRENCH UNTIL HE TELLS US THE PASSWORD GOT IT.

The programming community's greatest hits, served daily at the language-bashing diner! First up, JavaScript is bad (groundbreaking). Then the shocking revelation that Java is verbose (who knew?). And for dessert, the classic "PHP is terrible too" take. It's like watching someone discover fire in 2023 and expecting applause. The true art here isn't the hot takes—it's how we keep recycling the same three jokes while nodding sagely as if we've just dropped profound wisdom. Revolutionary stuff, truly.

Content Anatomy of a junior dev thinks the scrum master is the CEO jack of all languages, master of none is in every meeting, doesn' understand a thing imposter syndrome hasn't kicked in yet bloodstream contains enough caffeine to put down HR constantly takes on new projects, hasn't finished a single one browses rProgrammerHumor daily but can't relate every PR has 29 revisions IDE has 200 plugins

Content How almost every Stack Overflow question looks to me How do I do this thing? I'm not aware of how to use Google, how do I do this basic thing in Language X? 43 coding question share improve this question 4 edited Apr 2'12 at 8:13 1 Grammar Nazi 2.5M 739 70 5 Answers Lazy but functional answer with no extensibility 12 share improve this answer asked Feb 1 '10 at 16:27 133720 Er 2010306 active oldest votes answered Feb 1 '10 at 16:30 - Joe the Coder : 1,230 3 14 25 That's perfect! I'm never checking back here again! - 13370r Feb 1'10 at 16:42 A lot of people think you should do it in a lazy way, however in the long run it will help you if you read this 248 well eloquent wall of text that acutely describes problems you will inevitably face but not take the time to read about here; enjoy these code samples and illustrations I pulled from thin air anyway! share improve this answer answered Feb 1 '10 at 16:30 WTF look at my points 34M 400 150 60 The official way to do this is link. share improve this answer 18 answered Feb 1'10 at 16:29 Professional Coder 5.241 0224 63 Uh.. No thanks, this is too hard. Can you give me an example of how my code should look when complete? - 1337z0 Feb 1 '10 at 16:41 1 agree tagged coding 155474 question 37256 asked 3 years ago viewed 43962 times active 1 month ago Community Bulletin event Microsoft can help you port your app to Windows 8 - win prizes with Apptivate! - now through June 7 Work. From Home. If you are a dogs ..ill CAREERS 2.0 ...Ill CAREERS 2.0 There really are jobs for coders available! Not for you though. Kiersted Systems Houston, TX relocation Highly paid, competitive benefits; that one language you didnt learn.

Content I need the "Are you a robot" page by EOD today. But sire, it's weekend. geekyornerdy Just do it Website on weekend: Okay see you on monday. Are you a robot? We know you aren't, but our boss keep insisting that we'll ask you. I am not a robot! ProarammerHumor.io