I'm Not Exaggerating

The human brain: allocating 23% CPU and 2.4GB of RAM to thinking about sex, 8% to lunch plans, and a measly 2.4% to actually finding that seg fault. Meanwhile, writing documentation and unit tests are running in the background with 0% CPU utilization. Priorities perfectly aligned for maximum debugging inefficiency. The real kicker? Those embarrassing memories from 2007 somehow consuming 1.2GB of memory that could've been used to solve the actual problem. But hey, at least "Incoming Bowel Movement" is only using 0.1% CPU - small victories.

The security industry in a nutshell, folks. You hire "analysts" who confirm they're analysts, confirm they get paid to analyze, but when they actually find something—like a Log4j vulnerability that needs immediate patching—management's response is "Nah, P0 incident? That's an EOD problem." Nothing quite like hiring security experts only to ignore their expertise when it requires actual work. The classic corporate cycle: pay for security, ignore security recommendations, wonder why you got breached. Then blame the security team who warned you six months ago. For the uninitiated, Log4j was that delightful little vulnerability from 2021 that had security teams working through Christmas while executives were sipping eggnog and asking "can't we just deal with it after the holidays?"

Content Coordinated drones Posted by Tech Insider 8.033.416 Views They used coding and algorithms so the drones didn't crash into each other TECH 16k 485 Share BEST uSkizm - 2mo if (goingToCrashIntoEachOther) dont ();

The modern software development stack in one chaotic image! A developer is desperately trying to implement a feature they have no clue how to build, while balancing precariously on a human tower of support. Their senior dev forms the foundation (probably wondering why they didn't take that fintech job), while a blinking cursor and Claude AI model the middle layers. Meanwhile, the entire operation depends on a random StackOverflow thread from the ancient scrolls of 2011. This isn't just coding—it's architectural performance art with zero documentation.

The brain's 3 AM debugging service is the most reliable and unrequested feature in a developer's life. That sudden epiphany about fixing a bug you've been stuck on for days always arrives precisely when you're trying to sleep – never during your actual work hours when it would be useful (and compensated). Your brain is basically that coworker who never contributes during meetings but messages you with brilliant ideas at midnight. And just like your employer, it doesn't believe in overtime pay for those inconvenient moments of clarity.

Content Debugging is like being the detective in a crime movie where you are also the murderer. -Filipe Fortes Debugging ProgrammerHumor.to