I'm Not Exaggerating

Content hEROES VILLAINS OF SOFTWARE DEVELOPMENT er O toggl JAVASCRIPT DEVELOPER YoU fIND A BUG YOU QUICKLY GOOGLE SOMETHING TO PASTE YOU FEEL HEAVY BUT THAT'S OK UnlESS YoU HAVE TO FLY BACKEND DEVELOPER YoU FIND A BUG YOU USE ALL OF Your SKILLS AND TOOLS TO FIND THE DEVELOPER WHO CAUSED WEB DEVELOPER YOU RELEASE A BUG YOU SQUASH IT, WHICH ONLY MAKES THE BUG MORE ORGANISED UDO TECHNICAL SUPPORT THE USER FINDS A BUG IT'S A FEATURE IT'S A FEATURE QUALITY ASSURANCE YoU CAN'T FiND A BUG YOU BREAK EVERYTHING YOU LEAVE. C DEVELOPER YOU CAN'T FIND THE BUG CAN'T FIND THE BUG. ND THE BUG. CAN'T FIN rm -rf MART VIRKUS ProarammerHumor.io TOGGL.COM

That moment when your stomach drops through the floor because you just executed DELETE * FROM users; and suddenly realize you're connected to production instead of your local environment. The five stages of database grief begin: denial, anger, bargaining with the SQL gods, depression, and finally acceptance that your resume needs updating. This is the exact face you make when contemplating how many years of your career just evaporated in a single keystroke. Career-ending query speedrun: WORLD RECORD!

The horror movie villain meets his match in a programmer who's seen far worse than a single operator change. While normal people would panic at the "find the needle in a haystack" challenge, our developer just sits there with cold indifference. That ticking clock? Please. Programmers live with the constant existential dread of merge conflicts and production bugs that make Jigsaw's little game look like a kindergarten puzzle. The villain's frustration in the last panel is priceless—turns out psychological torture doesn't work on someone who regularly stares into the void of legacy code without documentation.

Content WHAT ARE YOU WORKING ON? TRYING TO FIX THE PROBLEMS I CREATED WHEN I TRIED TO FiX THE PROBLEMS I CREATED WHEN I TRIED TO FIX THE PROBLEMS I CREATED WHEN...

Content Virgin API Consumer JSON Fears HTML Limited to the what the API can do Has to identify himself even for read-only APIs API Provider takes away his endpoint 429 Too Many Requests Has to worry about quota Thinks that he is making his life easier begs his users for auth API keys data is 10 minutes behind has to verify his email, phone, driver's license, ssn, dna sample has to agree to Terms of Service and follow the the rules Tokens Chad third-party scraper follows no rules, doesn't agree to any terms of service Luminati scrapes so fast the backend crashes Se has no limitations can access any data he wancs entire industries are dedicated to stopping him website thinks his user agent is a phone Doesn't care about changes in policies Even Javascript can't stop him OR. pays laborers to solve captchas doesn't even have a phone number guests. can work anonymously parses HTML with regex MULLVAD SMSPVA 2Captcha his business is profitable Can do whatever he wants millions of engineer hours, still can't stop him from scraping promising career at high-frequency trading firm musc scrabes in his spare time

Content G Closed miku-chan03 opened this issue on 18 Oct 2017 2 comments miku-chan03 commented on 18 Oct 2017 Contributor Hil I fixie wixied the JSON-api fucksy wucksie!!! xp I repwaced the Prototypes. func wiff a more -streamlined- kawaii Pwototypiee. funkywunks object that make the JS go sooper dooper fast!! XD starts twerking Can u pwease merge my pwull wequest senpai?!! UwU gaearon commented on 19 Oct 2017 Contributor what in the name of fuck O gaearon closed this permanently on 19 Oct 2017