Behold The Performance Optimization Aristocracy

The aristocratic smugness is palpable. Nothing screams "tech nobility" like optimizing garbage code instead of rewriting it properly. Sure, you've made your spaghetti script run 1000x faster, but it's still held together with duct tape and prayers. The true art of programming isn't writing good code—it's making bad code perform so well that nobody questions its existence. And then strutting around the office like you've just invented quantum computing.