New UI, Same Old Microsoft

Microsoft's entire user base when they announced Copilot would be embedded into Windows 11. Nobody asked for an AI assistant that uses 2GB of RAM just to tell you the weather, but here we are. The enthusiasm gap between Microsoft's boardroom and actual users has never been wider—they're out here acting like we've been desperately waiting for our OS to hallucinate file locations and suggest we "try turning it off and on again" in a more conversational tone. The collective exodus speaks volumes: some fled to Linux, others just disabled every AI feature they could find in Settings (good luck finding them all). Meanwhile, Microsoft's still convinced this is what innovation looks like.

Finally, Microsoft acknowledges what we've known all along - their software requires pharmaceutical intervention. "Steve's Balm" with "Copilot enhanced formulation" is the perfect remedy for that blue screen migraine you've been nursing since the last forced update. The irony of Microsoft selling the cure for the problem they created is just *chef's kiss*. It's like your arsonist neighbor opening a fire extinguisher store next door. Side effects may include: sudden urge to reboot, unexplained file loss, and the compulsion to pay for subscriptions you don't need.

Content The source code of Windows' troubleshooting program has leaked 1 2 3 4 5 include windows.h include stdio.h int main() printf("Searching for problems. .. n"); Sleep (60000); printf("We didn't find any problemsn"); 7 8

Microsoft employee proudly shows off VS Code as "my fastest editor" while completely oblivious to the fact that it's still activating extensions in the background. Anyone who's ever opened VS Code knows that feeling of false hope when you think you can start coding immediately, only to stare at that loading bar for what feels like several geological eras. Sure, it's "fast"... if your definition of fast includes time to brew coffee, contemplate existence, and perhaps learn a new programming language while waiting.

Ah, Microsoft's "Stay signed in?" dialog. The checkbox claims it'll reduce sign-ins. The "Don't show this again" option suggests it'll disappear forever. Both are pathological liars on par with "I have read and agree to the terms of service." No matter what you click, you'll be re-authenticating again tomorrow because Microsoft authentication has the memory capacity of a goldfish with amnesia. It's the digital equivalent of your coworker asking your name for the fifth time this week.

Content Windows user Apple is shit Linux user Windows is shit Mac user n0000000000 Windows user We know