PowerPoint: The Database Of Nightmares

Content Bill Gates 27 B.C. (Before Chrome) ORD 258 FYE EvEL S "640KB ought to be enough for anybody"

Behold, the revolutionary idea that would fix SQL forever! Moving SELECT to the end of queries so there's actually context before listing what you want. Because apparently writing queries in the logical order of "Hey database, I want these columns FROM this table WHERE these conditions apply" was too straightforward. Next brilliant innovation: putting your function's return type after the closing bracket. The committee will review your proposal right after they finish indexing their coffee mugs by color.

Content Adam Cerious Browtweaten Follow hacker: I have all your passwords me: omg thank you, what are they 4:34 PM Jun 5, 2023 126.4K

SWEET MOTHER OF LEGACY CODE! 😱 A Gordon Ramsay-style tech show would be the MOST SAVAGE THING EVER! Imagine him discovering your company is running Ubuntu 8.04 (released in 2008 and LONG dead) with not one but TWO backdoors AND a crypto miner stealing your electricity! That's like finding expired ingredients from the last decade AND rats in the kitchen! And owing $2 MILLION to AWS?! That's not technical debt, that's technical BANKRUPTCY! The cloud bill alone would make Gordon's veins pop out of his forehead while he screams "THIS INFRASTRUCTURE IS SO OLD IT REMEMBERS WHEN JAVASCRIPT WAS COOL THE FIRST TIME!"

Content A 369 You have reached a new level in computer science, and you are coming of age. You therefore are now ready for the next step. I have been authorized by the BDFL himself to reveal the following Super Secret document to you. The ancients understood it and deciphered it first, and now, so will you! The Floating Point Guide Treat this document with care! Only share this with people you know have reached the same baffling conclusions! Moderator's Note This answer is not representative of the expected quality standards on Stack Overflow. However, it has unexpectedly developed a life of its own and is solely preserved for historical significance now.

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