PowerPoint: The Database Of Nightmares

Content I like it ( 39) Fri 11:50 PM Question How do keyboards make things like what you just sent work? Because while those are ASCII symbols, they're all rotated and shifted Fri 11:52 PM Oh boy lets talk about Unicode

Content Hacker Scripts Based on a true story: xxx: OK, so, our build engineer has left for another company. The dude was literally living inside the terminal. You know, that type of a guy who loves Vim, creates diagrams in Dot and writes wiki-posts in Markdown... If something - anything requires more than 90 seconds of his time, he writes a script to automate that. xxx: So we're sitting here, looking through his, uhm, "legacy" xxx: You're gonna love this xxx: smack-my-bitch-up.sh - sends a text message "late at work" to his wife (apparently). Automatically picks reasons from an array of strings, randomly. Runs inside a cron-job. The job fires if there are active SSH-sessions on the server after 9pm with his login. xxX: kumar-asshole.sh - scans the inbox for emails from "Kumar" (a DBA at our clients). Looks for keywords like "help", "trouble", "sorry etc. If keywords are found - the script SSHes into the clients server and rolls back the staging database to the latest backup. Then sends a reply "no worries mate, be careful next time". xxX: hangover.sh - another cron-job that is set to specific dates. Sends automated emails like "not feeling wellgonna work from home" etc. Adds a random "reason" from another predefined array of strings. Fires if there are no interactive sessions on the server at 8:45am. xxX: (and the oscar goes to) fucking-coffee.sh - this one waits exactly 17 seconds (!), then opens a telnet session to our coffee-machine (we had no frikin idea the coffee machine is on the network, runs linux and has a TCP socket up and running) and sends something like sys brew. Turns out this thing starts brewing a mid-sized half-caf latte and waits another 24 (!) seconds before pouring it into a cup. The timing is exactly how long it takes to walk to the machine from the dudes desk. xxx: holy sht I'm keeping those

Ah, the classic collision of real-world terminology and software profanity filters. Some poor developer is stuck between a legitimate business need (a slaughterhouse's "Boner" job title) and their overzealous content filter that's flagging it as inappropriate. The desperate plea to "switch this feature off in the backend" is the digital equivalent of asking your parents to let you stay up past bedtime because "this is different!" After 15 years in this industry, I can guarantee the response will be either "that's a production config, absolutely not" or "sure, we'll add it to the backlog" (translation: never happening). Meanwhile, the slaughterhouse workers are probably wondering why tech people can't understand that bones need removing.

Content I am jealous of my girlfriend's ex because he is better at Leetcode than me When I was working on the daily challenge the other day, my girlfriend saw my screen and asked me if I was Leetcoding. I was surprised because she is an archeology major and doesn't know anything about programming. She explained that her ex-boyfriend was into competitive programming and talked about it all the time. Apparently he is a Guardian on Leetcode and he even used to prepare contest problems for extra money. I feel extremely insecure now because I struggle with mediums most of the time and my rating is at 1500. My gf keeps assuring me that my low rating doesn't bother her, but everytime I am stuck in a problem I keep thinking how her ex would solve it in minutes. I just can't get the image of him easily solving LC Hards out of my head. Every time he submits a solution and gets that green AC on his screen he must smile and think how much of a loser his girlfriend's new

Content WHEN YOU GO AN ENTIRE DAY WITHOUT HEARING THE WORDS "SPRINT" OR "STANDUP"

Content rAskReddit dis Top Awarded 1 V6 1 3, 14 24 5 19 5 1 24 What makes you nervous no matter how many times you do it? 11.7k 5.3k " Share Award O BEST COMMENTS princessmediocrity 4h Driving in between two semi tr... Killer Jupe 4h Walking out of a store without buying an... GroovyChainsaw 5h Walking over a storm drain with mayoroftheed 5h Let's break ourselves into small grou.. dbasinge 5h 3, 6 2 Awards Any time I hand edit a database. h Reply 2.9k MangoTux 4h 4 Awards 1,428,992 rows affected (0.33 seconds) oh no