The perfect startup recipe: one person who can't write a for-loop without StackOverflow and another who thinks SEO means "Some Extra Options." Yet somehow, when these two shake hands, venture capitalists throw money at them faster than developers abandon jQuery. After 15 years in tech, I've watched this exact scenario play out dozens of times. The codebase is held together with npm packages and prayers, the marketing strategy is "go viral," and yet they're valued at $50M pre-revenue. Meanwhile, I'm debugging production issues at 10pm for a company that actually makes money.