The Immortal PHP: Still Not Dead In 2025

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The existential crisis of modern programming in one tweet! Someone asks if you're a bot, and the reply cuts straight to the bone: "We are all bots. Some implemented with neurons and synapses, others with PHP. Arguably both are about the same IQ." Brutal takedown of PHP developers everywhere while simultaneously questioning what even makes us human. The philosophical burn is so savage it makes Descartes' "I think therefore I am" look like a casual observation. PHP catching strays in a conversation about artificial intelligence is peak programmer humor.

Security experts: "Use complex passwords, rotate them regularly, never store them in plaintext." Meanwhile, some server admin with their passwords.txt file accessible via direct URL, using "admin" as both username and password: "I'm something of a security expert myself." The tabs open in the background (phpMyAdmin, Cloud Shell, etc.) really complete the masterpiece of digital negligence. Chef's kiss to whoever set up this security nightmare.

Romance has nothing on the sheer agony of a missing semicolon. While some poor soul loses sleep over a person, developers enter the special circle of debugging hell where we stare at perfectly fine-looking code for 96 hours straight, questioning our career choices, sanity, and the fundamental laws of the universe—all because we forgot to type a single character that's smaller than a fruit fly. The compiler doesn't care about your feelings; it just wants its damn semicolon.

BEHOLD! The eternal programming language hierarchy in its most dramatic form! JavaScript stands there with that insufferable grin, basking in its web dominance while the other ghost-like languages SEETHE with jealousy. Then—PLOT TWIST—they all gang up to beat JavaScript into submission! But wait! The final panels reveal the TRUE victors: Python (TWICE because it's just THAT important) and PHP silently judging from their zen-like state of superiority. It's basically the programming language version of Mean Girls but with more semicolons and existential dread. The circle of life in development: first they mock you, then they fight you, then they reluctantly include your libraries in their projects anyway.