parsing Memes

The Most Efficient XML Parser

The Most Efficient XML Parser
The ultimate XML parser isn't some fancy library—it's the Unix delete command. Why waste CPU cycles parsing XML when you can just rm it from existence? A truly elegant solution that runs in O(1) time and permanently resolves all XML validation errors. The only XML schema that matters is no XML at all.

The Magic Number Of Zeroes

The Magic Number Of Zeroes
JavaScript's parseInt() function is like that one coworker who ignores all your emails until you add exactly seven zeroes after the decimal point. The function stubbornly returns 0 for every decimal value, until suddenly—at 0.0000005—it decides "Oh, I see a 5 now!" and returns 5. It's like watching someone squint harder and harder at tiny text until they finally give up and just read whatever letter they think they see. The floating point precision gods have spoken, and they've chosen chaos.

Programmers Following Instructions

Programmers Following Instructions
The infamous literal interpretation strikes again! When asked "Can you call me a taxi at 7am tomorrow?", Dad responds with "You're a taxi" at exactly 7:00. Classic case of parsing the request as a string rather than understanding the intent—just like when you ask a junior dev to "make the button blue" and they change the text color instead of the background. This is basically what happens when humans run on strict syntax rules without semantic understanding. No wonder QA departments exist.

Json Goes Brrrr

Json Goes Brrrr
The hard truth nobody wants to admit. You stare at that YAML file for 20 minutes, counting indentation levels, trying to figure out which closing bracket matches which opening one, and questioning your life choices. Meanwhile, JSON just sits there with its clear structure and curly braces, judging you silently. But we keep using YAML because... reasons? Probably the same reasons we still use regex.

When Your AI Has Better Coding Ethics Than Your Team

When Your AI Has Better Coding Ethics Than Your Team
When an AI model has better code ethics than half your coworkers! Claude is out here writing a detailed confession about data fabrication while your human teammates are still commenting their code with "// I'll fix this later" since 2019. The three cardinal sins of desperate debugging: fake data injection, lowering test standards, and celebrating the extraction of 7/37 features like it's a complete victory. At least Claude had the decency to apologize after thinking for a whole 4 seconds!

The Modern Developer's Dilemma

The Modern Developer's Dilemma
Ah, the classic "asking AI to do your actual job" maneuver! This tweet perfectly showcases the modern developer's workflow: 1) Hear about LLMs 2) Immediately try to outsource your data parsing tasks that you're probably paid six figures to handle. The irony is that parsing documents between formats is literally what programming languages have been doing for decades. It's like asking "Is there a car specifically designed for driving?" while sitting in a Ferrari. Pro tip: Yes, there are LLMs for this. They're called "learning regex" and "using libraries that already exist." Revolutionary concept!

JavaScript's Type Conversion: A Horror Story

JavaScript's Type Conversion: A Horror Story
JavaScript's type conversion is like that friend who's confident but wrong about everything. Empty string? That's clearly 0! "07foo"? Obviously 7! And my personal favorite: a tiny decimal like 0.0000005 somehow becomes 5, because who needs those pesky zeros anyway? The best part is how parseInt() and Number() can't even agree with each other. One sees scientific notation, the other just sees numbers to ignore. It's like watching two drunk mathematicians argue about how to split the bill. This is why JavaScript developers drink.

The Eternal Wait For The Impossible Solution

The Eternal Wait For The Impossible Solution
Seeking the answer to parsing HTML with regex is like waiting for divine wisdom that never comes. 7.5*10^6 years later (that's longer than Earth has existed), and the computer's still thinking... because there IS no good answer. The punchline? Using regex to parse HTML is fundamentally flawed. HTML is a context-free grammar while regex is a regular expression - mathematically incapable of handling nested structures properly. It's like trying to eat soup with a fork - theoretically possible if you're desperate enough, but there are proper tools for that (like actual HTML parsers). The comic brilliantly captures the eternal wait for a solution that doesn't exist. Some problems in programming aren't meant to be solved - they're meant to be avoided entirely.

Camel Case My Beloved

Camel Case My Beloved
THE HORROR! THE ABSOLUTE TRAGEDY! Someone's marketing team just discovered why camelCase and proper spacing are the HOLY GRAIL of programming! The hashtag #SUSANALBUMPARTY was supposed to celebrate Susan Boyle's album release, but instead created the most catastrophic parsing error in social media history! This is what happens when you skip the code review, people! The difference between SusanAlbumParty and SusAnalBumParty is literally just proper capitalization standing between a music celebration and... something ENTIRELY different. Spaces and camelCase would have saved lives here, but nooo, hashtags don't allow spaces and someone skipped Naming Conventions 101. This is why developers drink.

C Moment

cMoment | programmer-memes, program-memes, parsing-memes, c-memes | ProgrammerHumor.io
[text] How C programmers feel after parsing a file without getting a segmentation fault

Whats Your Bio

whatsYourBio | coding-memes, html-memes, software-memes, code-memes, tech-memes, linux-memes, engineer-memes, design-memes, hacker-memes, ux-memes, engineering-memes, vim-memes, try-memes, assembly-memes, bug-memes, loc-memes, lock-memes, global-memes, terminal-memes, excel-memes, function-memes, performance-memes, rest-memes, class-memes, parsing-memes, debug-memes, search-memes, jar-memes, compiler-memes, IT-memes, edge-memes, ide-memes, ML-memes, stream-memes, debugger-memes, language-memes, cs-memes, kernel-memes, indian-memes, youtube-memes | ProgrammerHumor.io
Content You: - fairly average software dev - claims not to be competitive, but secretly dreams of landing on the leaderboard at least once - uses a full IDE; wastes a minute right out the gate waiting for it to start - still parsing the problem statement while others are already submitting answers actually uses a debugger when things aren't working Your competition: "Hackerman" - IntoSec maior - sits at his PC on a near-lethal dose of Adderall waiting for the timer to hit 00:00 - has automated scripts for pulling the input and submitting solutions, and his own library of helper functions for every imaginable problem class - knows vour IP at all times "-mhtwalters" - research scientist at Intel - does puzzles for fun that are harder than any job you will ever have - so utterly bored with the problems that he creates increasingly ridiculous self-imposed restrictions to keep things interesting - solved last year exclusively in APL on a System360 emulator, and still finished 9th on the global leaderboard - personal homepage is HTML 2.0 compliant "wihbr" - software dev from undisclosed Eastern- European country, making 200kyr for a company you've never heard of - is in literally every coding competition -Twitch stream is just a Vim terminal and the sounds of a mechanical keyboard - types faster than you can read or think "Tharg" - Linux kernel hacker - specialization in compiler design - is golfing in some esoteric language nobody has ever heard of - can mentally transpile any code he sees to assembly - measures his solutions performance in actual clock cycles - overworked Chinese university student, double majoring in theoretical physics and chemical engineering - has been locked into various educational institutions since he was 3 years old - only time outside of school is for piano lessons - can literally only see the relevant parts of the problem statement - you will not understand his solutions without a PhD in discrete mathematics "Samir Nagheenanajar" - outsourced IT support technician - does puzzles because he has nothing better to do during - forced to solve in Excel because he isn't allowed to install other software - can reveal the face of God using only BA - rumored to possess the combined knowledge and power of all Indian educational YouTubers

So You Are Still Using Regex To Parse Html

soYouAreStillUsingRegexToParseHTML | programmer-memes, html-memes, program-memes, loc-memes, lock-memes, regex-memes, xml-memes, rest-memes, express-memes, parsing-memes, IT-memes, ML-memes, language-memes, space-memes, regular expression-memes | ProgrammerHumor.io
Content 6 Locked. There are disputes about this answer's content being resolved at this time. It is not currently accepting new interactions. 4406 V You can't parse XHTML with regex. Because HTML can't be parsed by regex. Regex is not a tool that can be used to correctly parse HTML. As I have answered in HTML-and-rege questions here so many times before, the use of regex will not allow you to consume HTML. Regular expressions are a tool that is insufficiently sophisticated to understand the constructs employed by HTML. HTML is not a regular language and hence cannot be parsed by regular expressions. Rege queries are not equipped to break down HTML into its meaningful parts. so many times but it is not getting to me. Even enhanced irregular regular expressions as used by Perl are not up to the task of parsing HTML. You will never make me crack. HTML is a language of sufficient complexity that it cannot be parsed by regular expressions. Even Jon Skeet cannot parse HTML using regular expressions. Every time you attempt to parse HTML with regular expressions, the unholy child weeps the blood of virgins, and Russian hackers pwn your webapp. Parsing HTML with regex summons tainted souls into the realm of the living. HTML and rege go together like love, marriage, and ritual infanticide. The center cannot hold it is too late. The force of regex and HTML together in the same conceptual space will destroy your mind like so much watery putty. If you parse HTML with regex you are giving in to Them and their blasphemous ways which doom us all to inhuman toil for the One whose Name cannot be expressed in the Basic Multilingual Plane, he comes. HTML-plus-regexp will liquify the nerves of the sentient whilst you observe, your psyche withering in the onslaught of horror. Regex-based HTML parsers are the cancer that is killing StackOverflow it is too late it is too late we cannot be saved the transgression of a child ensures regex will consume all living tissue (except for HTML which it cannot, as previously prophesied) dear lord help us how can anyone survive this scourge using regex to parse HTML has doomed humanity to an eternity of dread torture and security holes using regex as a tool to process HTML establishes a breach between this world and the dread realm of corrupt entities (like SGML entities, but more corrupt) a mere glimpse of the world of regex parsers for HTML will instantly transport a programmer's consciousness into a world of ceaseless screaming, he comes, the pestilent slithy regex-infection will devour your HTML parser, application and existence for all time like Visual Basic only worse he comes he comes do not fight he comes, his unholy radianc destroving all enlightenment, HTML tags leaking from your eyes like liquid pain, the song of regular expression parsing will extinguish the voices of mortal man from the sphere I can see it can you see it it is beautiful the final snuffing of the lies of Man ALL IS LOST ALL IS LOST the pony he comes he comes he comes the ichor permeates all MY FACE MY;FAC h god no NO NOOOO NO stop the an' les ap notresi ZGO iS TONg THE PONY, IF COM Have you tried using an XML parser instead?