The Most Efficient XML Parser

Ah, the sacred ritual of the desperate dev team. There they are, dressed in ceremonial robes, performing ancient prayers to the almighty compiler gods. "Please, just one successful build before the scrum master asks why we're behind schedule!" Nothing quite captures the existential dread of watching that progress bar crawl along at 3 minutes before standup. The incense is burning, candles lit, and somewhere in the background, a junior developer is sacrificing their last Red Bull to appease the CI/CD pipeline. Bonus points if you've ever whispered "I promise to comment my code properly from now on" while staring at a loading screen.

Content Feeling when you remove your bra after a long day Feeling when you close all 20 stackoverflow tabs after an assignment

Content OTHER DEVELOPERS: how efficient is your code right now? ME: don't know exactly how to represent that in Big O, but I think it would look something like O(WTFN).

Content Grandmaster Trash: Exact Trash O... : ExactTrashOnly Roko's Basilisk is not scary. "my imaginary torture snake wants you to help its PR campaign" No it doesn't "if you don't help the snek will be angry" no it won't dude go outside

Content 4 Posted by 1 day ago 273 Does C give you superpowers? Is this a myth or there's some truth to it? " Share 71 Comments ff Award Share 1 day ago A C absolutely gives you superpowers. The line at the club the other night was two hours long, but when the bouncer saw my CppCon tshirt he let me in right away. I went to the bar and set up my laptop. Girls couldn't stop complimenting my template metaprogramming skills. I got 15 phone numbers and didn't pay for a drink all night. When I got back to my car a cop was writing me a parking ticket, but when he saw The C Programming Language by Barne Stroustrup sticking out of my messenger bag, he tore up the ticket. 4 321 " Reply Share

A lonely C++ programmer stands in the corner of a party, nursing a drink while contemplating memory management strategies. Meanwhile, the "vibe coders" and "latest JavaScript framework coders" are having the time of their lives, blissfully unaware that pointers even exist. It's like watching someone who knows how engines work watching TikTokers who think cars run on magic and good vibes. The C++ dev silently judges while manually freeing memory that nobody else even knows they're allocating.