Parse JSON Statham

The duality of variable naming in one perfect comic. When asked how they name variables, our hero responds with "Just meaningful names" while their actual code tells a different story: let plsHELPiAmSuffering - for when the debugger is your therapist let i_am_hungry - because coding at 3am requires documentation const ETERNAL_PAIN - clearly a well-scoped constant var weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee - when you've lost all will to follow naming conventions let tempVarNameWillChangeWhenImNotDoingThisAtMidnight - the lie we tell ourselves Every developer has two wolves inside them: one that wants clean, readable code and another that's having an existential crisis at 2am with a deadline tomorrow.

Content Based on a true story: xxx: OK, so, our build engineer has left for another company. The dude was literally living inside the terminal. You know, that type of a guy who loves Vim, creates diagrams in Dot and writes wiki-posts in Markdown... If something - anything - requires more than 90 seconds of his time, he writes a script to automate that. xxx: So we're sitting here, looking through his, uhm, "legacy" xxx: You're gonna love this xxx: smack-my-bitch-up.sh - sends a text message "late at work" to his wife (apparently). Automatically picks reasons from an array of strings, randomly. Runs inside a cron-job. The job fires if there are active SSH-sessions on the server after 9pm with his login. xxx: kumar-asshole.sh - scans the inbox for emails from "Kumar" (a DBA at our clients). Looks for keywords like "help" "trouble" "sorry" etc. If keywords are found - the script SSHes into the clients server and rolls back the staging database to the latest backup. Then sends a reply "no worries mate, be careful next time". xxx: hangover.sh - another cron-job that is set to specific dates. Sends automated emails like "not feeling wellgonna work from home" etc. Adds a random "reason" from another predefined array of strings. Fires if there are no interactive sessions on the server at 8:45am. xxx: (and the oscar goes to) fucking-coffee.sh - this one waits exactly 17 seconds (!), then opens a telnet session to our coffee-machine (we had no frikin idea the coffee machine is on the network, runs linux and has a TCP socket up and running) and sends something like sys brew . Turns out this thing starts brewing a mid-sized half- caf latte and waits another 24 (!) seconds before pouring it into a cup. The timing is exactly how long it takes to walk to the machine from the dudes desk. xxx: holy sht l'm keeping those

Content laurence functiOnZero Accidentally banged my daughters head on the corner of the table in her nursery while she was wriggling around putting her down to change her diaper Please, God, don't let me have created a frontend programmer 11:23 a.m. 13 Apr 23 4,324 Views

Content Backend Frontend API's

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Content Tweet Web development bletchley punk alicegoldfuss the frontend engineers at crunchyroll are wee developers good night 1:44 AM Sep 4, 2021 Twitter Web App 55 Retweets 2 Quote Tweets 527 Likes 17 1