Parse JSON Statham

Content HaHa says: July 8, 2022 at 3:56 pm Javascript? Just nuke it from orbit. It has one purpose: When applying for a SE job ask 'What server side Javascript do you run?' If the answer isn't something along the lines of 'None, are you insane?', run away. Terminate the interview right there and leave. You don't want to work for those twits. Javascript could compile to the tightest machine code on earth and it's ecosystem would still suck big wet donkey balls. It's where all the worst coders have spent the last 20 years on the most monumental steaming pile, ever. Javascript outside the browser is a tell, like someone who drives a French car. No fixing that level of stupid. Wish them 'Better luck next reincarnation' and never look back. Reply Report comment

Nothing says "I love you" like a syntax error in your code. This cross-stitch masterpiece transforms the classic romantic poem into the programmer's nightmare we all know too well. That semicolon sitting alone on line 32 is the digital equivalent of stepping on a LEGO at 3 AM while trying to fix a production bug. The compiler doesn't care about your feelings—it just wants proper syntax. Somewhere, a developer is framing this and hanging it directly above their monitor as a permanent reminder that love is temporary, but debugging is forever.

Start 'em young, they said. Gotta love those job listings demanding a decade of experience with technologies that have only existed for five years. This baby's already behind schedule! Should've mastered React in the womb and deployed a blockchain solution during naptime. At this rate, the poor kid will only have 18 years of experience by 20 - clearly unemployable by industry standards. Next week: "Python for Fetuses" and "Docker Containerization Before You Can Walk."

Content A programmer What people think I do What my parents think I do What I think I do What I really do 0491 Google How to use dates in Javascript Calen CAM ProgrammerHumor.to

So you've mastered pointers, memory management, and segmentation faults, but the moment someone mentions they code in JavaScript or Python, you suddenly need a manual on basic human interaction? Classic programmer move—spending years debugging C++ templates but completely freezing when faced with actual social protocols. The irony here is delicious: you can architect complex systems and handle the most arcane programming concepts, yet starting a conversation with fellow devs feels like trying to compile code without a compiler. Bonus points if you're that person who codes in Assembly or Rust and secretly judges everyone else's "easy mode" language choices while simultaneously having zero idea how to say "hello" without making it awkward. Pro tip: They're just people who chose garbage collection over manual memory management. They won't bite. Probably.

Content The Push-Up License (PUL) Copyright (c) YEAR AUTHOR Permission is hereby granted, free of charge, to any person obtaining a copy of this software and associated documentation files (the "Software"), to deal in the Software without restriction, including without limitation the rights to use, copy, modify, merge, publish, distribute, sublicense, andor sell copies of the Software, and to permit persons to whom the Software is furnished to do so, subject to the following conditions: 1. Push-Up Clause: Any person who copies the Software, in whole or in part, must perform one (1) push-up. This is a binding and non-transferable requirement. The push-up must be executed to the best of the individual's ability and in good faith. 2. The above push-up requirement shall not apply to: Automated systems performing copies as part of standard backup processes. Individuals with physical disabilities or medical conditions preventing them from performing push-ups, in which case this clause is waived. 3. The above copyright notice and this permission notice shall be included in all copies or substantial portions of the Software. THE SOFTWARE IS PROVIDED "AS IS", WITHOUT WARRANTY OF ANY KIND, EXPRESS OR IMPLIED, INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO THE WARRANTIES OF MERCHANTABILITY, FITNESS FOR A PARTICULAR PURPOSE AND NONINFRINGEMENT. IN NO EVENT SHALL THE AUTHORS OR COPYRIGHT HOLDERS BE LIABLE FOR ANY CLAIM, DAMAGES OR OTHER LIABILITY, WHETHER IN AN ACTION OF CONTRACT, TORT OR OTHERWISE, ARISING FROM, OUT OF OR IN CONNECTION WITH THE SOFTWARE OR THE USE OR OTHER DEALINGS IN THE SOFTWARE. By copying this Software, you acknowledge and agree to the Push-Up Clause and pledge to uphold the spirit of fitness and fun. Write something...