Json Goes Brrrr

Content 1:29pm Let me tell you about programming! It's like giving directions to a baby that has the ability to understand and implement what you are saying and telling it to do, but none of the life experience to infer about what you're telling it. You can't just say: "go get the shovel". If I asked you that, you would just go to the shed and grab it for me. With the programming baby, you have to explain what a shovel is, and where the shovel is, and how the baby can "get" the shovel, in order for the baby to be able to do anything. It will also do EXACTLY as you ask, and nothing more. I tell the baby that the shovel is in the shed, and he goes in the shed and comes back empty-handed, because the shovel was leaning up on the outside of the shed. Imbecile

The sink works perfectly! The water flows through the faucet and... straight into the floor. Classic example of unit testing in software development – each component works flawlessly in isolation, but nobody bothered to check if they actually work together . The plumbing equivalent of "it works on my machine!" Sure, your authentication module passes all tests, but did anyone check if it actually talks to the database? This is why integration testing exists, folks – because passing unit tests is the programming equivalent of participation trophies.

Content A CANDIE FOR FUCKING MEETINGS SMELLS LIKE THIS COULD HAVE BEEN AN EMAIL And this is why I drink.

This code looks like it was written by someone who learned programming through a fever dream and a ouija board. The Arabic variable names mixed with deeply nested parentheses create a perfect storm of "please kill it with fire." It's the digital equivalent of opening your friend's fridge and finding a container labeled "DO NOT OPEN" from 2019. When someone sends you this asking "can you help me fix it?" the only appropriate response is to fake your own death and move to another country.

Content Anyone who ever schedules meetings with developers, please burn this image into your brain, thanks 9am 9:45 - 10:30 10am Don't want to get into anything because meeting is coming 10:30 - "Super Quick" Meeting 11am 11 - 11:45 Ramping back up after being distracted by meeting 12pm

Content THIS TOOL IS EXTREMELY IMPORTANT FOR US. WE NEED YOU TO BUILD THIS ON PRIORITY ! LISTEN UP ! MARKETING WANTS US TO BUILD AN EXTREMELY IMPORTANT TOOL FOR THEM. MARKETING R 2 WEEKS LATER WE HAVE THE TOOL READY! OH, WE DON'T NEED IT ANY MORE ( workchronicles follow on Twitter Instagram for more (and don't forget the underscore) workchronicles.com