The Evolution Of JavaScript Promises

Content Giulio Carrara 3rd Software Engineer 1d g Dear recruiters, if you are looking for: - Java, Python, PHP - React, Angular - PostgreSQL, Redis, MongoDB - AWS, S3, EC2, ECS, EKS - nix system administration - Git and CI with TDD - Docker, Kubernetes That's not a Full Stack Developer. That's an entire IT department. Yours truly 8,801 391 comments ProarammerHumor.io

Ah, the classic "beginner's paralysis." Remember when learning to code was just picking up a book on BASIC or Pascal? Now it's like walking into a pharmacy with 47 different cold medicines when all you wanted was something to stop your runny nose. The tech industry has perfected the art of reinventing the wheel every six months, leaving newbies staring at a buffet of languages and frameworks with absolutely no idea which one won't be obsolete by the time they finish the tutorial. Pro tip from someone who's been coding since punch cards: just pick one and start. The second language is always easier, and the twentieth barely registers as new. Meanwhile, the industry will keep churning out shiny new options like a slot machine that only pays in technical debt.

The structural integrity of this web app is questionable at best! Building a complex application with just HTML is like constructing this wonky mint-green building with only concrete and prayers. No CSS to style it properly, no JavaScript for functionality—just raw markup holding everything together by sheer force of will. The building even has that "I forgot to close a div tag somewhere" energy with that oddly slanted roof. 10/10 would not pass a code review OR a building inspection.

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The hill programmers are willing to die on: proper syntax terminology. Nothing triggers a developer faster than hearing someone call parentheses "brackets" during code review. It's the same energy as correcting someone's grammar in the YouTube comments section. The mock TED Talk format just makes it *chef's kiss* - because we all know that person who treats basic programming knowledge like they're delivering revolutionary wisdom to the masses.

OMG, the AUDACITY of TypeScript fanboys! 💅 They're literally out here WORSHIPPING static typing while looking down their noses at JavaScript like some kind of programming aristocracy! The bottom panel KILLS ME - "Look what they need to mimic a fraction of our power" - as if JavaScript hasn't been thriving in chaotic type-free bliss for DECADES! Meanwhile TypeScript developers are over here clutching their precious type definitions like security blankets because they can't HANDLE the wild west freedom of undefined is not a function! Honey, if you need your compiler to hold your hand through variable assignments, just say that! 💁‍♀️