The Evolution Of JavaScript Promises

Content C rcsharp 8m 20 views I hate C, please convince me otherwise I absolutely hate C, its just a watered down version of C, I don't know what it is about it but I don't like the language, it irritates me to my core, I hate JavaScript t... 9 0 3 O -1 Comments

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Content MEMBER THIS 15 MY FAVORITE LANGUAGE javascript redcoders "11" 1 "111" "11" - 1 10 SRGRAFO

Finally, a project status report that doesn't sugarcoat reality! This is what happens when your PM asks for "complete transparency" and you take it personally. From the 23.64 GB codebase (because who needs optimization?) to the "mix of tabs and spaces" (the mark of a true chaotic evil), this is every tech lead's nightmare made manifest. My favorite part? The test status: "Segmentation fault (core dumped)" paired with "passing if you try a second time" — which is basically every developer saying "it works on my machine" with extra steps. And let's not ignore the "coffee drunk: 694 L" metric — the only truly accurate measurement in the entire report.

The JavaScript ecosystem has reached peak absurdity with a package called "is-thirteen" that literally just checks if a number equals 13. That's it. That's the entire functionality. But wait! The prophecy foretells an even greater absurdity: someone creating "is-not-thirteen" that imports "is-thirteen" as a dependency just to negate its return value. Because why write num !== 13 when you could add two more dependencies to your already bloated node_modules folder? And the worst part? Deep down we all know it's inevitable. The npm wasteland grows stronger with each passing day.

Ah yes, the classic "let me massively over-engineer this simple problem" approach. Nothing says "I'm a serious developer" like creating an entire utils file just to house that one sad, lonely function that converts a string to uppercase. It's like buying a mansion for your pet rock. Sure, your code structure might look impressive in the pull request, but we all know you're just trying to make those 3 lines of code feel important.