Next Nest Nuxt: The JavaScript Name Game

Content Dolores Abernathy dolorescodes Just connected a Bullet vibrator up using web Bluetooth and then used JavaScript to make it randomly run. I just got fucked by JavaScript. Teledildonics is the subject of my next conference talk where I get up on stage and have the entire audience give me an orgasm. 1:31 PM 23 Apr 20 Twitter for iPhone

Content "Javascript developer" starter pack uS Highend Computer (must be apple) M3 Budget Machanical Keyboard Use a text editor which with custom expensive really use your computer keycaps. resources. Beast Expresso machine Never type anything without emojis. Not even in git commit Tweet about HTMLCSS tips biscuit memes Your project should take at least 1hr to open Never forget this

Content bella riarklerise how the fuck are they already on the textbook if theyre posing for it College Prep jebra 837761 Lake Howell sign Schoo r College Readiness da Edition 918439

Content PROBLEM: JAVASCRIPT HAS ALMOST NO STANDARD LIBRARY SOLUTION: THOUSANDS OF COMMUNITY -SUPPORTED LIBRARIES OF WILDLY VARYING QUALITY PROBLEM: JAVASCRIPT HAS NO PACKAGING OR A LINKER TO TIE THESE PACKAGES TOGETHER PROBLEM: JAVASCRIPT WON'T RUN OUTSIDE THE BROWSER SOLUTION: V8 PROBLEM: JAVASCRIPT IS SINGLE -THREAD BY DESIGN SOLUTION: ASYNCHRONOUS PROGRAMMING, NODE. JS PROBLEM: CALLBACK HELL PROBLEM: PROTOTYPAL INHERITANCE IS PANTS -ON- HEAD STUPID THAT'S RIGHT, I SAID IT. PROBLEM: WEB RESOURCES NEED TO BE MINIFIED AND ZIPPED FOR PERFORMANCE PROBLEM: THE DOM IS TOO SLOW FOR VIDEO GAMES SOLUTION: CANVAS PROBLEM: JAVASCRIPT IS TOO SLOW FOR VIDEO GAMES SOLUTION: USE AN ASSEMBLY- LIKE SUBSET OF JAVASCRIPT CALLED ASM.JS PROBLEM: ASM.JS IS BASICALLY UNWRITABLE 4 HUMANS. SOLUTION: COMPILE A BETTER LANGUAGE TO JAVASCRIPT (C, EMASCRIPT 2016, COFFEESCRIPT, JSX) SOLUTION: HUNDREDS OF COMMUNITY SUPPORTED BUILD TOOLS OF WILDLY VARYING QUALITY PROBLEM: GRUNT. SOLUTION: GULP PROBLEM: GULP PROBLEM: MACHINE GENERATED OUTPUT IS MORE DIFFICULT TO DEBUG PROBLEM: ASYNC IS STILL A NIGHTMARE, HUH? PROBLEM: BALLOONING PROJECT SIZE AND COMPLEXITY PROBLEM: JAVASCRIPT STILL DOESN'T DO EVERYTHING PROBLEM: OUTPUT RUNS VERY SLOWLY ON MOBILE DEVICES SOLUTION: ELECTRON, PHONEGAP, FIREFOXOS HOW IS DIGGING GOING TO GET US OUT OF THIS HOLE? WHERE I AM FROM, THE POINT OF DIGGING IS NOT FREEDOM FROM DIGGING

There's a special circle of hell for frontend devs who manually write SVG path commands. That rabbit's just chilling with its <path d="M0,0 C0,20 20,0..."> while the HEX color kid is having a breakdown. And then there's the canvas API coder - somehow functioning despite the absolute madness of drawing pixels by hand. We've all been there at 2AM, debugging why our beautiful UI looks like abstract art. The real mythical creature isn't the 10x developer - it's anyone who does this stuff voluntarily.

Content Kitze thekitze "Sooo I'm working on my new startup, it's going great so far" 9 React App localhost:3000 Hello World 8:21 AM 18 Dec 17 146 Retweets 642 Likes