Lazy-coding Memes

Posts tagged with Lazy-coding

Hiring A Rocket Scientist To Make Toast

Hiring A Rocket Scientist To Make Toast
Ah yes, the pinnacle of software engineering: using a multi-billion dollar AI model to add 1 + 2. That's like hiring a NASA rocket scientist to operate your toaster. The code imports OpenAI, sets two variables, then asks ChatGPT to perform basic arithmetic that the language could do natively with a simple + operator. Congratulations, you've just made the world's most expensive calculator with the worst possible performance. Next week: using quantum computing to check if a number is odd.

Simulate Loading

Simulate Loading
The dirty secret of app development: that fancy loading animation? Just Thread.sleep(5000) because the PM insisted on "showing progress." The client thinks we're doing complex calculations while the server's basically taking a nap. Sure, I could optimize the database query, but why bother when I can just shorten the artificial delay and look like a hero at the next sprint review?

The Best Way To Debug

The Best Way To Debug
Who has time to READ DOCUMENTATION? Are you KIDDING ME?! Life's too short to understand WHY something broke when you can just carpet bomb your entire codebase with console.log("HERE") , console.log("WHY GOD WHY") , and the ever-eloquent console.log("AAAAAAAHHHHH") ! The sheer ECSTASY when one of your 47 random debug statements finally reveals the problem is practically BETTER THAN CAFFEINE. Documentation is for people with patience and dignity—two things I sacrificed to the coding gods YEARS ago! 💅

The Command Line Archaeologist

The Command Line Archaeologist
Who needs command history when you've got muscle memory and blind hope? Nothing says "professional developer" like frantically hammering the up arrow key while squinting at the terminal, praying you'll recognize that one magical command you typed three hours ago. The alternative is—gasp—writing it down somewhere or creating an alias, but where's the adrenaline rush in that? Terminal archaeology is half the fun of being a command-line warrior.

To Be Fair Importing Logging Can Take Several Minutes

To Be Fair Importing Logging Can Take Several Minutes
OMG, the absolute HORROR of seeing a Python dev using print() statements instead of proper logging! 😱 It's like watching someone use a butter knife to fix an electrical outlet! Sure, importing that logging module takes a WHOLE EXTRA LINE of code and the UNBEARABLE AGONY of typing 'import logging' instead of just sprinkling print() statements everywhere like confetti at a debug party. But honey, when your production server is on fire at 2AM and you can't find which of your 500 print() statements is relevant, you'll be BEGGING for timestamp and log levels! The walk of shame depicted here is just *chef's kiss* PERFECTION.

The Art Of Implementation

The Art Of Implementation
That moment when your senior dev asks you to implement a shrinking algorithm and you decide to just decrement a counter in a loop. The crying cat perfectly captures the pain of code review day when they see your O(n) solution that could've been a simple one-liner. "It technically works" is your only defense as you prepare to rewrite it for the fifth time.

Slapping On A .Expect Is Also Error Handling!

Slapping On A .Expect Is Also Error Handling!
The eternal cycle of Rust developers. First panel: "OH NO!" - when they realize their code might panic. Second panel: "ANYWAY" - as they slap on a .expect("This will never happen") and continue coding like nothing happened. It's basically the programming equivalent of putting duct tape over a check engine light. Sure, your code compiles, but that error is just waiting to blow up in production.

It's A Routine: Copy, Paste, Ship It!

It's A Routine: Copy, Paste, Ship It!
The modern software development lifecycle: pour some StackOverflow solutions and GitHub snippets into your old project, call it a new web app, and hope nobody notices the coffee stains. Who needs original code when you can just recycle the same 5 functions you've been using since 2015? The "pour and pray" method is basically 90% of web development at this point. Bonus points if you rename a few variables to make it look like you actually wrote something new.

When Recursion Is Too Mainstream

When Recursion Is Too Mainstream
Oh. My. GOD. The absolute AUDACITY of this developer! 💀 Instead of implementing the elegant recursive Fibonacci formula, this chaotic evil genius just hardcoded ALL THE VALUES in a switch statement like some kind of mathematical barbarian! The function is literally named "fib" but there's not a single calculation happening - just a glorified lookup table masquerading as actual code. This is what happens when someone takes "work smarter not harder" to its most horrifying extreme. The face peeking at the bottom is all of us witnessing this algorithmic war crime!

Stop Shortening Variable Names Istg

Stop Shortening Variable Names Istg
Ah yes, the ancient programmer tradition of naming variables like you're being charged by the character. "Why use 'playerCharacterPosition' when 'pcp' works?" they say, while their IDE helpfully autocompletes it anyway. The melting yellow creature perfectly captures that internal meltdown when someone suggests using descriptive variable names. "But my fingers will get tired from all that typing that the computer does for me!" Meanwhile, six months later, nobody remembers what 'plobjcaracy' was supposed to mean, including the person who wrote it.

I'm "Coding"

I'm "Coding"
When your non-tech friend asks what you're doing and you say "I'm coding," but really you're just asking ChatGPT to build the next billion-dollar startup for you. Let's be honest—we've all typed "make me an app like [insert successful company]" at least once when nobody was looking. The modern equivalent of copying homework, except now we call it "leveraging AI tools for rapid prototyping." Who needs years of software engineering when you can just sweet-talk an AI into doing it for you?

The Children Are Our Downfall

The Children Are Our Downfall
Junior developers turning their heads away from perfectly good documentation and help resources to stare longingly at the siren call of ChatGPT with half-baked prompts. The eternal struggle of tech leads everywhere - watching their team ignore centuries of accumulated wisdom in favor of asking an AI "how 2 center div plz?" and then implementing whatever hallucinated garbage it spits out. The documentation might as well be written in invisible ink at this point.