Slapping On A .Expect Is Also Error Handling!

The circle of tech life is complete. Remember judging your parents for saying "what's a browser?" Now here we are, staring at Rust's borrow checker like it's quantum physics written in hieroglyphics. After 15 years of coding, I've evolved from "I can learn any language!" to "Does this new framework spark joy? No? Then it's dead to me." The tech fatigue is real - we've all become the very technophobes we swore to replace.

The programming language family drama continues! Here we have D (the forgotten language with the red logo) watching as the cool kids C, Go, and Rust hang out at the programming party. Poor D is literally wearing a party hat but nobody remembers it was supposed to be C++'s successor before all these trendy new languages showed up. D actually had garbage collection and modern features before it was cool, but now it's like that uncle who keeps saying "I invented that!" while everyone awkwardly sips their coffee. Meanwhile, Go is getting all the cloud jobs, Rust is being crowned for memory safety, and C just keeps trucking along like the immortal language it is.

HONEY, HOLD MY KEYBOARD! 💅 This is the ULTIMATE programming language personality chart that's hitting wayyy too close to home! C just casually strolls from problem to solution like it's taking a Sunday walk. Python's like "why reinvent the wheel when I can just import someone else's?" And Bash? Just throw every command in existence at the problem until something sticks! Poor PHP doesn't even get a solution (which is honestly SO on brand). C++ creates 11 MORE problems with every solution because OF COURSE IT DOES. Rust gives you solutions with side effects that'll haunt your dreams. And then there's JavaScript... SWEET MOTHER OF DOM MANIPULATION! It's not just a language, it's a WHOLE ECOSYSTEM OF CHAOS where one problem spawns an INFINITE HELLSCAPE of nested problems! JavaScript doesn't solve bugs - it turns them into FRAMEWORK OPPORTUNITIES! 💀

The C++ standard committee's forward-thinking approach to version naming is truly inspiring. By limiting the version string to just 5 characters, they've ensured we'll run out of space around the year 2098. It's basically Y2K but for people who think memory safety is overrated. Meanwhile, Rust developers are sitting in the corner, patiently waiting with their zero-cost abstractions and ownership model, knowing that time is on their side. Nothing says "legacy planning" quite like a 76-year migration timeline.

The perfect illustration of every Rust evangelist's nightmare - someone who's perfectly content with their "inferior" programming language. The gray NPC face getting increasingly angry at someone who dares to be satisfied with their current performance is peak programming tribalism. It's like telling a CrossFit enthusiast you're happy with your occasional jog around the block. The audacity! How DARE you be content when there's memory safety and blazing speed to be had?! Next thing you'll tell me is that you don't even care about zero-cost abstractions!

MY ENTIRE PROGRAMMING LIFE HAS BEEN A LIE! 😱 Here I am thinking Rust is named after that horrifying orange corrosion that eats metal alive, with its edgy "memory safety" branding, but NOOOO—it's named after some obscure fungus?! And Python?! I spent YEARS believing it was named after those terrifying reptiles that squeeze the life out of their prey (just like Python code squeezes the life out of my CPU), but it's actually named after Monty Python?! The comedy group?! What's next? Is JavaScript actually named after someone's pet goldfish named "Java" who liked to follow "scripts" of swimming patterns?! I CAN'T EVEN TRUST PROGRAMMING LANGUAGE NAMES ANYMORE! 💀