Excuses Memes

Posts tagged with Excuses

The Day "Works On My Machine" Died
Docker Devops Programming Debugging Cloud
11 hours ago 69.3K views 1 shares
The Day "Works On My Machine" Died
Pour one out for the classic developer alibi that died on March 19, 2013. The day before Docker launched, developers everywhere enjoyed their final blissful moments of saying "but it works on MY machine!" with zero consequences. Then containerization nation attacked, and suddenly your local environment excuse became as extinct as Internet Explorer's security updates. Now when code fails in production, your team lead just smugly whispers "docker build" while maintaining uncomfortable eye contact.

The Perfect Developer Alibi
AI Agile Programming
15 days ago 62.1K views 0 shares
The Perfect Developer Alibi
The perfect excuse has finally arrived in the AI era. Just tell your manager "my code's generating" while Claude or GPT does the heavy lifting, and suddenly you're not scrolling Reddit—you're "waiting for computational processes to complete." Works every time. The best part? When the code finally arrives, you can just claim you wrote it and collect those sweet, sweet productivity points. Modern problems require modern solutions.

There Is No Bug, Only Unexpected Features
Linux Devops Programming Debugging
25 days ago 88.1K views 0 shares
There Is No Bug, Only Unexpected Features
The Linux penguin mascot staring at you with those innocent eyes while gaslighting the entire developer community. Classic corporate damage control strategy: "It's not a bug, it's a feature." The number of times I've heard this excuse after pushing untested code to production could fill a Git repository. Next time your app crashes, just tell your boss it's an "unexpected opportunity for user creativity."

It Works On My Local Container
Devops Docker Programming Debugging Backend
29 days ago 100.2K views 0 shares
It Works On My Local Container
Evolution of excuses. Left panel: Developer proudly proclaims "It works on my machine!" while the ops guy silently contemplates career choices. Right panel: Same developer, now with DevOps skills and a suspicious sunburn, declares "It works on my container!" The ops guy's expression remains unchanged – he knows containerized garbage is still garbage, just more portable. We've successfully moved the problem from one isolated environment to another, slightly fancier isolated environment. Progress!

When Management Forces You To Use AI
Programming Debugging
1 month ago 67.4K views 0 shares
When Management Forces You To Use AI
The modern developer's ultimate get-out-of-work card! When your manager catches you sword fighting with a coworker instead of fixing that critical production bug, just say your "code's vibing" and watch them back away slowly. It's the perfect excuse – vague enough to sound like you're doing something innovative, yet technical enough that no one wants to ask follow-up questions. Bonus points if you add "it's in a flow state" or "the algorithm is self-optimizing" while maintaining intense eye contact.

Same Same But Different: The DevOps Excuse Evolution
Devops Kubernetes Docker Programming Cloud
1 month ago 121.0K views 0 shares
Same Same But Different: The DevOps Excuse Evolution
The evolution of developer excuses is truly magnificent. We went from "it works on my machine" (the universal get-out-of-jail-free card) to "it works on my container!" - which is basically the same excuse wearing a fancy DevOps hat. Notice how the developer on the right is smiling while delivering the exact same non-solution. That's the true innovation of DevOps - not solving problems, just feeling better about them while using trendier terminology. Congratulations, we've containerized our excuses. Ship it!

The Four Horsemen Of Debugging Excuses
Debugging Programming Testing
1 month ago 94.3K views 0 shares
The Four Horsemen Of Debugging Excuses
The four horsemen of the debugging apocalypse. Nothing quite captures the desperation of a developer staring at broken code like these classic lines. My personal favorite is "it worked yesterday" – as if code spontaneously decides to rebel overnight. Pro tip: saying "that's weird" automatically summons a senior developer who will fix it by standing behind you and watching you try again.

Schrödinger's Feature: The Quantum Mechanics Of Bug Reports
Programming Devops Agile Debugging Testing
1 month ago 97.6K views 0 shares
Schrödinger's Feature: The Quantum Mechanics Of Bug Reports
The quantum mechanics of software development! First tweet gives us "Schroedinger's code" - where your buggy mess exists in a superposition of working/broken until someone runs the code and collapses the wave function. But the reply delivers the knockout punch - if a client discovers your bug before you do, just smile confidently and say "Yes, that was TOTALLY intentional functionality." The universal developer's get-out-of-jail-free card that's been saving careers since COBOL was cutting edge. The ultimate professional gaslighting technique that somehow still works in 2024.

The #1 Programmer Excuse For Legitimately Slacking Off
Programming Devops Debugging
2 months ago 101.0K views 0 shares
The #1 Programmer Excuse For Legitimately Slacking Off
Ah, the sacred art of looking busy while doing absolutely nothing. When your manager walks by and sees you scrolling through Reddit, just mutter "my code's generating" and watch them retreat in respectful silence. It's the digital equivalent of putting a "Wet Floor" sign in front of your cubicle. Works every time because no one wants to be the person who interrupted a build process that might take anywhere from 30 seconds to the heat death of the universe.

The #1 Programmer Excuse For Legitimately Slacking Off
AI Programming
2 months ago 80.1K views 0 shares
The #1 Programmer Excuse For Legitimately Slacking Off
Ah, the modern developer's version of "my code is compiling." Remember when we had to wait for actual compile times? Now we just blame the AI for our extended coffee breaks. The beauty is that nobody can verify if ChatGPT is actually still working or if you've been scrolling Reddit for the last 45 minutes. And the best part? Management can't argue because they're doing the exact same thing. It's the perfect crime - you're technically "waiting for a tool" while secretly planning your weekend. And if anyone questions the time it takes, just mutter something about "token limits" and "complex prompting strategies."

The Evolution Of Dependency Management Excuses
Javascript AI Webdev Devops React
2 months ago 140.8K views 0 shares
The Evolution Of Dependency Management Excuses
The evolution of dependency management excuses is just *chef's kiss*. First we pretend it's a calculated technical decision. Then we admit we're just lazy. But that final panel? Pure gold. "LLMs don't understand it yet" is the new "works on my machine." Nothing like blaming AI for your technical debt while your package.json looks like a digital archaeological dig site. Meanwhile, your junior dev is quietly running "npm audit fix" in production.

The #1 DevOps Excuse For Legitimately Slacking Off
Devops Networking Programming
2 months ago 103.4K views 1 shares
The #1 DevOps Excuse For Legitimately Slacking Off
The ultimate DevOps get-out-of-jail-free card! When your manager catches you sword fighting with your coworker instead of deploying that critical patch, just yell "DNS!" and watch them retreat in terror. DNS propagation is the perfect excuse because it's both legitimate and completely unverifiable. "Is he actually waiting or watching YouTube? Who knows! Better not risk questioning the DNS gods." Even the most hardened managers know better than to challenge the mysterious black hole where productivity goes to die.