Excuses Memes

Posts tagged with Excuses

Algorithm The Saviour
Algorithms Programming
23 hours ago 171.9K views 0 shares
Algorithm The Saviour
You know you've hit peak laziness when "I used an algorithm" becomes your universal escape hatch. Can't explain your nested loops? Algorithm. Don't remember why you chose that data structure? Algorithm. Someone asks why your function has 47 lines of incomprehensible logic? Just smile and say "it's an algorithm" like you're dropping some CS theory knowledge. It's the technical equivalent of saying "it's magic" but with enough gravitas that people nod and back away slowly. Works especially well in code reviews when you really just brute-forced something at 2 AM and have zero idea how to articulate the chaos you created.

Yes
Programming Algorithms
1 month ago 224.1K views 0 shares
Yes
The dictionary definition we all needed. When your PM asks how you optimized that function and you just mutter "algorithm" while avoiding eye contact. It's the technical equivalent of "I used magic" – vague enough to sound smart, specific enough to end the conversation. Bonus points if you add "proprietary" before it. Works in code reviews, client meetings, and when explaining why your solution is O(n²) but "it's fine, trust me."

Gentlemen A Short View Back To The Past
Cloud Webdev Networking Devops Backend
1 month ago 210.4K views 0 shares
Gentlemen A Short View Back To The Past
Cloudflare outages have become the developer's equivalent of "my dog ate my homework" - except it's actually true half the time. The beauty here is that while your manager is frantically screaming at you to fix the site, you're just sitting there sipping coffee because literally nothing is under your control. The entire internet could be on fire, but as long as Cloudflare's status page shows red, you're untouchable. It's the perfect alibi: externally verifiable, affects millions of sites simultaneously, and best of all - there's absolutely nothing you can do about it except wait. Some devs have been known to secretly celebrate these outages as unexpected coffee breaks. The other guy clearly hasn't learned this sacred defense mechanism yet.

Gentlemen A Short View Back To The Past
Devops Webdev Networking Programming Backend
2 months ago 370.7K views 0 shares
Gentlemen A Short View Back To The Past
Cloudflare going down has become the developer's equivalent of "my dog ate my homework" - except it's actually true about 40% of the time. The other 60% you're just on Reddit. The beautiful thing about Cloudflare outages is they're the perfect scapegoat. Your code could be burning down faster than a JavaScript framework's relevance, but if Cloudflare has even a hiccup, you've got yourself a get-out-of-jail-free card. Boss walks by? "Can't deploy, Cloudflare's down." Standup meeting? "Blocked by Cloudflare." Missed deadline? You guessed it. The manager's response of "Oh. Carry on." is peak resignation. They've heard this excuse seventeen times this quarter and honestly, they're too tired to verify. When a single CDN provider has enough market share to be a legitimate excuse for global productivity loss, we've really built ourselves into a corner haven't we?

It's Always A Cloudflare Problem
Cloud Webdev Networking Security Devops
2 months ago 192.1K views 0 shares
It's Always A Cloudflare Problem
The universal scapegoat of our generation has arrived. When the production server catches fire at 3 AM and your phone rings, nothing beats the sweet relief of saying "Sorry, it's a Cloudflare problem" with that smug little smile. Cloudflare—taking the blame so you don't have to since 2010. The perfect excuse to go back to sleep while someone else's engineering team deals with the dumpster fire. And the best part? Sometimes it's actually true!

No Spare Computer? Virtualization Smash!
Linux Windows Programming
3 months ago 231.1K views 0 shares
No Spare Computer? Virtualization Smash!
The classic "I don't have a spare computer for Linux" excuse gets obliterated by virtualization. It's the computing equivalent of saying you can't go to the gym because you don't have a separate body for working out. Meanwhile, VirtualBox sits there like the Hulk of hypervisors, ready to smash that pathetic logic. No hardware? No problem. Just run an entire OS inside your OS like some sort of digital Russian nesting doll.

The #1 Programmer Excuse For Legitimately Slacking Off
AWS Networking Devops Programming Backend
3 months ago 260.3K views 0 shares
The #1 Programmer Excuse For Legitimately Slacking Off
Nothing stops productivity quite like "AWS is down." When Amazon's cloud services take a nap, half the internet goes with it. The beauty is watching managers who were just demanding updates suddenly back away slowly when they hear those three magical words. It's the digital equivalent of pulling the fire alarm in high school, except this one's actually legitimate. The stick figure's smug delivery says it all - they've found the holy grail of acceptable work stoppages. And really, what are you supposed to do? Debug the entire AWS infrastructure yourself? I think not.

The Perfect On-Call Excuse
AWS Devops Programming Debugging Backend
3 months ago 264.9K views 0 shares
The Perfect On-Call Excuse
The universal get-out-of-jail-free card for on-call engineers everywhere! When AWS went down yesterday, every developer suddenly had the perfect excuse to dodge responsibility. "Sorry boss, can't fix that critical bug... it's an AWS problem." *smug face* Meanwhile, you're just chilling on the couch, secretly grateful that for once, it's actually someone else's infrastructure to blame. The sweet relief when the biggest cloud provider becomes the scapegoat and you can finally get some sleep instead of debugging your own spaghetti code at 2 AM.

It's Not A Bug, It's A Feature
Debugging Agile Programming Testing
4 months ago 239.1K views 1 shares
It's Not A Bug, It's A Feature
The irony is just *chef's kiss* - an actual bug inside what appears to be a fuel pump, with the classic programmer's deflection plastered above and below. This perfectly captures that moment when your PM asks why the app crashes every Tuesday at 2:17 PM, and you confidently declare it's an "undocumented temporal feature." Next time a client complains about unexpected behavior in your code, just point to this little yellow fellow living his best life inside industrial equipment. Nature's little QA tester found a home, and now it's part of the architecture.

The #2 Programmer Excuse For Legitimately Slacking Off
AI Programming
5 months ago 213.6K views 0 shares
The #2 Programmer Excuse For Legitimately Slacking Off
The modern programmer's productivity killer isn't compiling code anymore—it's hitting the ChatGPT rate limit. Nothing quite justifies a coffee break like that "Too many requests" message. The best part? Even your manager can't argue with AI infrastructure limitations. "Sorry boss, I'm not slacking off... I'm just waiting for OpenAI's servers to let me be productive again." The perfect crime.

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The API Documentation Defense
Programming Webdev Debugging Backend
6 months ago 236.1K views 0 shares
The API Documentation Defense
The desperate creativity of developers knows no bounds! When caught red-handed watching inappropriate content at work, this brave soul conjured up the ultimate technical alibi: "I was just checking API calls in that website." Because obviously, the most thorough API testing requires extensive... um... endpoint validation. The classic "it's for research purposes" defense gets a programmatic upgrade. Next time your boss catches you, remember - you're not slacking, you're conducting a very important RESTful service inspection!

Honest Developer Gets Promoted To Customer
Gamedev Unity Programming Frontend
6 months ago 222.8K views 0 shares
Honest Developer Gets Promoted To Customer
Companies say they want honest developers until you actually tell them the truth. "Sorry boss, can't implement that water feature because I didn't code the swimming animation. Would take 3 sprints and blow the budget." Next thing you know, you're labeled as "not a team player" for refusing to build a physics engine overnight. The real MVP is the dev who put up that sign instead of letting users drown in unfinished features.