Excuses Memes

Posts tagged with Excuses

Schrödinger's Feature: The Quantum Mechanics Of Bug Reports
Programming Devops Agile Debugging Testing
11 days ago 80.0K views 0 shares
Schrödinger's Feature: The Quantum Mechanics Of Bug Reports
The quantum mechanics of software development! First tweet gives us "Schroedinger's code" - where your buggy mess exists in a superposition of working/broken until someone runs the code and collapses the wave function. But the reply delivers the knockout punch - if a client discovers your bug before you do, just smile confidently and say "Yes, that was TOTALLY intentional functionality." The universal developer's get-out-of-jail-free card that's been saving careers since COBOL was cutting edge. The ultimate professional gaslighting technique that somehow still works in 2024.

The #1 Programmer Excuse For Legitimately Slacking Off
Programming Devops Debugging
24 days ago 85.8K views 0 shares
The #1 Programmer Excuse For Legitimately Slacking Off
Ah, the sacred art of looking busy while doing absolutely nothing. When your manager walks by and sees you scrolling through Reddit, just mutter "my code's generating" and watch them retreat in respectful silence. It's the digital equivalent of putting a "Wet Floor" sign in front of your cubicle. Works every time because no one wants to be the person who interrupted a build process that might take anywhere from 30 seconds to the heat death of the universe.

The #1 Programmer Excuse For Legitimately Slacking Off
AI Programming
28 days ago 63.6K views 0 shares
The #1 Programmer Excuse For Legitimately Slacking Off
Ah, the modern developer's version of "my code is compiling." Remember when we had to wait for actual compile times? Now we just blame the AI for our extended coffee breaks. The beauty is that nobody can verify if ChatGPT is actually still working or if you've been scrolling Reddit for the last 45 minutes. And the best part? Management can't argue because they're doing the exact same thing. It's the perfect crime - you're technically "waiting for a tool" while secretly planning your weekend. And if anyone questions the time it takes, just mutter something about "token limits" and "complex prompting strategies."

The Evolution Of Dependency Management Excuses
Javascript AI Webdev Devops React
29 days ago 100.9K views 0 shares
The Evolution Of Dependency Management Excuses
The evolution of dependency management excuses is just *chef's kiss*. First we pretend it's a calculated technical decision. Then we admit we're just lazy. But that final panel? Pure gold. "LLMs don't understand it yet" is the new "works on my machine." Nothing like blaming AI for your technical debt while your package.json looks like a digital archaeological dig site. Meanwhile, your junior dev is quietly running "npm audit fix" in production.

The #1 DevOps Excuse For Legitimately Slacking Off
Devops Networking Programming
1 month ago 91.8K views 1 shares
The #1 DevOps Excuse For Legitimately Slacking Off
The ultimate DevOps get-out-of-jail-free card! When your manager catches you sword fighting with your coworker instead of deploying that critical patch, just yell "DNS!" and watch them retreat in terror. DNS propagation is the perfect excuse because it's both legitimate and completely unverifiable. "Is he actually waiting or watching YouTube? Who knows! Better not risk questioning the DNS gods." Even the most hardened managers know better than to challenge the mysterious black hole where productivity goes to die.