It Works On My Local Container

Ah, the classic cloud provider panic attack. Three identical red buttons labeled "Azure DevOps," "AWS DevOps," and "GCP DevOps" with a sweating person having an existential crisis below. It's like being asked which kidney you'd prefer to donate. The truth? Your resume needs all three, your sanity can handle none, and your company will probably switch platforms right after you become certified in one. The real punchline is that six months after mastering your chosen platform, management will announce they're "pivoting to a multi-cloud strategy" anyway. Just close your eyes and press one—the anxiety is the only constant.

When your cloud budget runs dry but your boss still wants that serverless architecture... Behold! The pinnacle of innovation: "AWS Cloud" written with a Sharpie on a CD. The "offline version" is just *chef's kiss*. Remember when we thought the cloud was just someone else's computer? Turns out it can also be your own dusty CD-ROM from 2003. Next up: "Kubernetes Cluster" written on a stack of floppy disks. Por fin indeed! 🙏

The tech industry's obsession with "10X developers" has spawned this beautiful hierarchy of coding reality. At the top, we have the mythical 10X developer - a shirtless keyboard warrior who apparently codes with the power of ten mortals. In the middle sits the humble 1X developer - just a normal person trying to get through the day without breaking production. And at the bottom? The "-10X developer" - an agile coach explaining what product managers do. Nothing says "actively harming productivity" like someone who doesn't code explaining how to manage code better. The real 10X move is avoiding meetings with either of these extremes.

When a developer thinks they're a Git wizard but hasn't quite mastered the dark arts... git push --force is basically the programming equivalent of saying "I know what I'm doing" right before catastrophe strikes. It's that command that overwrites remote history with your local changes, consequences be damned! The poor soul in this comic learned the hard way that Git doesn't come with an "undo apocalypse" button. One minute you're confidently force-pushing changes, the next you've erased months of your colleagues' work and suddenly everyone's Slack status changes to "contemplating violence." And just like that bike crash, there's no graceful recovery from nuking your team's repository. You just lie there, contemplating your career choices while frantically Googling "how to restore git history please help urgent!!!"

Adding more project managers and consultants to a sinking project is like adding more people to the top deck of a sinking boat. "Why aren't we moving faster?" asks the clueless executive as the poor dev in the water desperately tries to paddle. Classic corporate solution: throw more management at the problem while the actual workforce drowns. The Brooks' Law special – adding more people to a late project just makes it later. But hey, at least there's plenty of people to document the failure in a retrospective PowerPoint!

The classic programmer's dilemma: spending half a day automating what could be done manually in minutes. Sure, the math doesn't check out if you only need to do it once, but that smug beach photo says it all. Nothing beats the satisfaction of writing a script that makes a repetitive task disappear forever. The real ROI isn't the time saved—it's the smugness gained. We don't automate because it's practical; we automate because we're too stubborn to do the same thing twice.