encryption Memes

No Salt, Just Pure Security Theater
Security Programming Databases
7 days ago 146.7K views 1 shares
No Salt, Just Pure Security Theater
OMG THE IRONY IS KILLING ME! 💀 They're all "security is our highest priority" and then IMMEDIATELY expose that Derek and Hakan use the EXACT SAME PASSWORD! Like, honey, you had ONE job - making passwords unique - and you've failed so spectacularly that your error message is literally doxxing other users! This isn't just shooting yourself in the foot, it's nuking your entire security philosophy from orbit! The password isn't even salted - it's SEASONED with a sprinkle of complete incompetence!

Stop People Stealing Website Images: The Escalating Madness
Webdev Security Javascript Programming Frontend
7 days ago 104.2K views 0 shares
Stop People Stealing Website Images: The Escalating Madness
The evolution of image protection from amateur hour to galaxy brain: First stage: "Let's disable right-click!" - the digital equivalent of putting a 'Do Not Touch' sign on a cookie jar. Cute. Second stage: "I'll detect dev tools!" Because surely no one would ever use a second device to take a photo of their screen. Revolutionary thinking there. Third stage: The convoluted PNG-video-DRM-EME pipeline. Six meetings, three sprints, and a product manager's career highlight to implement. Final stage: The ultimate overkill - capturing user clicks to dynamically regenerate encrypted frames. Because nothing says "reasonable solution" like burning a server farm to protect your stock photos. Meanwhile, users just press Print Screen and move on with their lives.

Security Achieved... By Broadcasting The Secret Code
Security Programming Testing
15 days ago 147.5K views 0 shares
Security Achieved... By Broadcasting The Secret Code
When your "secure" one-factor authentication system literally displays the verification code in the same message asking for it. Nothing says "Fort Knox of cybersecurity" like putting the answer key right above the test! The person who implemented this probably also uses "password123" and thinks incognito mode is military-grade encryption. Security teams worldwide just collectively facepalmed so hard they broke their mechanical keyboards.

Me When I Find Out I Can Use Ssh To Sign My Git Commits
Linux AI Python Java Databases
25 days ago 110.6K views 0 shares
Me When I Find Out I Can Use Ssh To Sign My Git Commits

If Unsure Fling Mouse Across Room
Frontend
29 days ago 143.3K views 1 shares
If Unsure Fling Mouse Across Room

Digital Fort Knox vs. Rusty Gate Security
Security Networking Programming
1 month ago 81.7K views 1 shares
Digital Fort Knox vs. Rusty Gate Security
Oh. My. GOD. The AUDACITY of the security contrast! 💀 In the digital realm, we're over here flexing with SHA-512 encryption and hash functions that would make supercomputers weep into their cooling systems for bazillion years... meanwhile, real-world security is literally defeated by a group of teenagers with the revolutionary hacking technique of "pull harder." The digital world: "We've created an IMPENETRABLE FORTRESS of mathematical complexity!" The physical world: "Have you tried wiggling the doorknob? It's kind of sticky but usually works."

Unsecured Connection To Sleep
Security Webdev Networking Programming
2 months ago 91.6K views 0 shares
Unsecured Connection To Sleep
OH. MY. GOD. The absolute HORROR of finding an Airbnb with just HTTP on the wall! For the uninitiated, HTTP stands for HyperText Transfer Protocol, which sends data in plain text without encryption, while HTTPS (with the S for Secure) encrypts your data. Booking this room would be like shouting your passwords across a crowded coffee shop! Your data just FLAPPING in the digital wind for anyone to grab! The owner might as well put up a sign that says "WE SNIFF YOUR PACKETS FOR FUN!" Honestly, in 2023?! I'd rather sleep in my car surrounded by firewalls than spend one night letting my data roam naked through the internet!

HTTP: The Protocol With Nothing To Hide
Security Webdev Networking Programming
2 months ago 106.8K views 0 shares
HTTP: The Protocol With Nothing To Hide
The pinnacle of security expertise—someone answering "What screams 'I'm insecure'?" with just "http://" instead of the vastly superior "https://". It's like showing up to a security conference without a password manager and 37 browser extensions that block JavaScript. That lone protocol sitting there, naked and vulnerable, practically begging to have its packets sniffed by anyone with basic networking knowledge. The internet equivalent of leaving your front door not just unlocked, but completely removed from its hinges.

Check Whether Your Private Key Is Used
Security Networking Programming Linux
2 months ago 149.6K views 0 shares
Check Whether Your Private Key Is Used
THE ABSOLUTE AUDACITY of this website asking you to paste your private key to "check if it's already taken"! 💀 This is like a burglar politely asking if you'd mind leaving your house keys under the doormat so they can "make sure nobody else has a copy." HONEY, the moment you paste that SSH key, it's not private anymore - it's basically a VIP party invitation to your entire server! The green "Success!" message is just the chef's kiss of evil genius. "Congratulations! Your digital identity has been successfully compromised! Would you like fries with that?"

Ent-To-Ent Encryption: Nature's Most Secure Protocol
Security Networking Programming
2 months ago 127.8K views 0 shares
Ent-To-Ent Encryption: Nature's Most Secure Protocol
The cryptographic pun we didn't know we needed! This brilliant wordplay combines end-to-end encryption (the security protocol that keeps your messages private) with Ents (the talking tree creatures from fantasy). Security engineers spend countless hours ensuring nobody can intercept your precious cat photos, while fantasy Ents are apparently doing the same with their arboreal gossip. Somewhere, a cryptography professor is both groaning and secretly adding this to their lecture slides. Next up: hash functions explained using actual breakfast potatoes.

What's Truly "Insecure" For A Programmer
Security Webdev Networking Programming
2 months ago 142.8K views 0 shares
What's Truly "Insecure" For A Programmer
Nothing says "I trust absolutely no one" like seeing a plain HTTP link and immediately thinking about all the ways your data could be harvested, sold, or stolen. That little 'S' in HTTPS isn't just a letter—it's the difference between "my password is probably fine" and "welp, time to change every password I've used since 2011." Seasoned developers don't see HTTP anymore. We just see red flags and a ticket that should've been fixed before the product even launched.

We Are Not Lazy, We Are Privacy Focused
Security Programming Frontend Backend
2 months ago 129.9K views 0 shares
We Are Not Lazy, We Are Privacy Focused
Marketing team: "Our app is privacy-focused!" Developer who actually looked at the code: *shocked cat face* Turns out their "privacy-focused" approach is just storing everything locally with zero encryption—basically the digital equivalent of writing your passwords on a Post-it and calling it "secure" because you didn't post it on Twitter. It's not a feature, it's a shortcut that accidentally became their entire security model!