Design patterns Memes

Posts tagged with Design patterns

The Anon Design Pattern

The Anon Design Pattern
The meme shows John Carmack (legendary DOOM creator) wearing an Oculus VR headset with a valve on his glasses, while someone mocks his C programming style. What they don't realize is that Carmack's procedural "functions only" approach created one of the most influential games ever while modern devs are still arguing about design patterns and class hierarchies. Sure, laugh at the lack of OOP while he's over there revolutionizing an entire industry with "just functions." Classic case of a junior dev criticizing senior code they don't understand yet.

Clean Code Only Works Until Requirements Change

Clean Code Only Works Until Requirements Change
The meme perfectly captures the software development lifecycle in three tragic acts: Act 1: A beautiful binary tree structure representing clean, modular code that makes developers shed tears of joy. Act 2: The dreaded "but what if" requirement change appears - that moment when product managers casually suggest connecting two previously unrelated parts of your architecture. Act 3: KABOOM! Your elegant architecture explodes into a million pieces because that one little cross-connection violates every separation of concerns principle you carefully crafted. This is why senior developers twitch uncontrollably whenever they hear "just a small change" in sprint planning. Your pristine SOLID principles are about to meet their mortal enemy: business reality.

Please Tell My Engineering Director

Please Tell My Engineering Director
The eternal quest for software enlightenment ends with a splash of cold reality. After 15 years of searching, our intrepid developer discovers the sacred "Scroll of Truth" only to chuck it back into the abyss when faced with the uncomfortable revelation that "adding another layer of abstraction does not solve every problem." Somewhere, a senior architect is furiously drawing another UML diagram to prove this wrong while three new JavaScript frameworks were created during the time it took you to read this.

The Wooly Oracle Of Tech

The Wooly Oracle Of Tech
Software architects are the mythical creatures of tech teams who spend years growing their wool of abstract knowledge until they become these massive, overgrown sheep of theoretical expertise. The meme perfectly captures how they finally emerge from their architectural diagrams and design patterns when forced to join a video call—just an absolute unit of fluff with barely visible features underneath. Their "pet" is just the poor developer who has to implement all those "elegant" solutions while the architect sits there looking smug about their latest microservice manifesto. The bigger the wool, the more senior the title!

OOP Is Like Communism

OOP Is Like Communism
DARLING, the AUDACITY of comparing Object-Oriented Programming to communism is just *chef's kiss* MAGNIFICENT! 💅 OOP promises us this UTOPIAN DREAMLAND of beautiful encapsulation, inheritance, and polymorphism—a coding PARADISE where everything is neatly organized and maintainable! The FANTASY! The ROMANCE! But then reality SLAPS US IN THE FACE with inheritance hierarchies deeper than my existential crisis, design patterns more convoluted than my love life, and codebases so bloated they need their own ZIP code! And poor Jesse's face at the end? That's LITERALLY every functional programmer when an OOP evangelist starts preaching about their "elegant solutions." HONEY, THE DRAMA! 💀

Me Over-Engineering The Balls Off My Project

Me Over-Engineering The Balls Off My Project
The top panel shows the simple, elegant approach to coding that we all pretend to advocate for in design meetings: just instantiate a class and call a method. Clean. Direct. Sensible. But then there's what we actually do when no one's watching (bottom panel): create an unholy chain of factories, managers, services, observers, and other enterprise patterns that would make even the most dedicated architecture astronaut blush. It's the classic "I could write this in 3 lines, but my resume needs buzzwords" approach. We've all been there—turning a simple task into a dissertation-worthy implementation because "scalability" and "best practices," when really we just wanted to flex our design pattern muscles.

The Universal Language Of Confusion

The Universal Language Of Confusion
The duality of programming languages in their natural habitat: Java developers live in two states: complete confusion and smug pretentiousness. "What the hell is this code" meets "It's a StrategyManagerFactory" with zero middle ground. The naming conventions alone require a PhD in verbosity. Meanwhile, C++ developers have achieved enlightenment through suffering. Both sides of the brain have united in the brotherhood of bewilderment. The left guy asks what the hell is happening, and the right guy—instead of pretending to understand—simply admits the universal truth of programming: absolutely nobody knows what's going on. The real joke? We're all getting paid to write code nobody understands. Pure genius.

Abstract Object Builder Factory Base

Abstract Object Builder Factory Base
The eternal battle between "clean code" zealots and the pragmatic hackers who actually ship features. First panel: Someone proudly declares they like "clean code" - that magical unicorn every bootcamp graduate puts on their resume. Second panel: Someone dares to ask what that actually means. Third panel: "It means he's afraid of useful code" - the brutal truth bomb drops. Fourth panel: The clean coder desperately denies it. Final panels: And then we see the "scary" code - a fast inverse square root function that's actually efficient and solves a real problem, but doesn't follow the sacred "clean code" commandments. The horror! Nothing strikes fear into the heart of a "clean code" purist like a function that prioritizes performance over readability. Meanwhile, the rest of us are just trying to make the damn thing work before the deadline.

I Hate OOP Here I Say It

I Hate OOP Here I Say It
Just another day hunting for that one useful function in your codebase, only to unmask yet another AbstractSingletonProxyFactoryBean. Functional programmers smugly sipping tea somewhere while OOP developers keep wrestling with class hierarchies deeper than their project's technical debt. The real villain isn't the ghost - it's the architecture astronaut who decided every function needs to be wrapped in six layers of inheritance.

Java Variable Names: The Enterprise Edition

Java Variable Names: The Enterprise Edition
The look of pure existential dread when you're forced to name your variables in Java. What started as a simple "client" spiraled into that monstrosity of a name because some architect decided every single responsibility needs to be in the variable name. This is what happens after 7 years of "clean code" seminars and too many design patterns. Meanwhile in Python land, they're just using "c" and moving on with their lives.

Day 1 Of Becoming A Programming God

Day 1 Of Becoming A Programming God
Ah yes, the sacred first step to coding divinity - buying the Gang of Four book! Nothing says "I'm about to become a programming deity" like ordering the Design Patterns bible and having it arrive in a beat-up Amazon package. The journey of a thousand abstractions begins with a single Factory Pattern! Bonus points if you display it prominently on your desk for six months without actually reading past chapter 3. We've all been there... ascension to godhood pending...