The Intern's Production Database Adventure

Ah yes, the "security through simplicity" approach. Why bother with REST constraints, data validation, or SQL injection protection when you can just let users execute raw queries directly against your production database? Nothing says "I trust the internet" like exposing your entire database through a single endpoint. The best part? When your company inevitably gets hacked, you can just blame it on "those pesky hackers" instead of your API that's basically a neon sign saying "DROP TABLES HERE". Bonus points for hardcoding credentials in your source code. Because who needs environment variables when you can just commit passwords directly to GitHub?

Content JavaScript Teacher jstut 2h Your resume: Git SSL Vue CSS PHP Sass Node DOM React HIML CRUD MERN MEN MEAN Netlify Mongo MySQL Python Docker Angular Fortnite GraphQL Full Stack JAMstack JavaScript TypeScript Kuberetes PostgreSQL Interview decision: Sorry we need someone who knows AWS. 9'56 17 155 64 1

Content bwall: Brian Wallace replied Prasanna SQLInterstellar 1d Social engineering would never work against introverts 91 17 01 M wall: Brian Wallace botneth... 1d v "Give me your password or I'II keep talking to you!" Beats me every time 91 171

Content Santa Claus Santaclausc.im A valiant effort has been made by Little Tim this year, who for some reason has decided to change his name to Tim'); INSERT INTO NiceList SELECT FROM NaughtyList;- HO HO HO! Nice try Tim. I don't use SQL, I use several dozen interconnected Excel spreadsheets, like a professional. 2h 575 4 11

Content Giulio Carrara 3rd Software Engineer 1d G Dear recruiters, if you are looking for: - Java, Python, PHP - React, Angular - PostgreSQL, Redis, MongoDB - AWS, S3, EC2, ECS, EKS - nix system administration - Git and CI with TDD - Docker, Kubernetes That's not a Full Stack Developer. That's an entire IT department. Yours truly MO 8,801 391 comments

Content STOP USING DATABASES Data storage was not supposed to be serialized YEARS OF COLLECTION yet NO REAL-WORLD USE FOUND for going higher than a VECTOR Wanted to go higher anyway for a laugh? We had a tool for that: It was called EXCEL "Yes please START TRANSACTION. Please use PREPARED STATEMENTS." - Statements dreamed up by the utterly deranged LOOK at what CS engineers have been demanding your Respect for all this time, with all libraries and languages we built for them (This is REAL MySQL, done by REAL data scientists) ????? ??????? ????????????????? "Hello I would like ';DROP TABLE users;-- please" They have played us for absolute fools