apple Memes

Bro Did Not Deserve This

Bro Did Not Deserve This
Android developer tries to have a reasonable conversation about Apple users and immediately gets nuked from orbit. Guy literally admits Android is garbage, explains his Apple preference with actual logic (security, ecosystem, lifestyle), and still gets roasted for allegedly spending time on Instagram instead of fixing Android. Brother threw him under the bus, backed up, and ran him over again. The self-own is spectacular. "Me being an android developer I also say android is shit" is the kind of brutal honesty that deserves respect, not a clapback about sliding into DMs. Man was just trying to bridge the iOS-Android divide and got absolutely demolished for his troubles.

Linux Be Like

Linux Be Like
Linux sitting there like the only kid in class who didn't cheat on the exam while everyone else is comparing notes. Microsoft's out here with telemetry baked into every corner of Windows, Google's entire business model is literally "we know what you searched at 2 PM last Thursday," and Apple's playing the privacy card while still knowing your exact location down to the centimeter. Meanwhile, Linux is just genuinely confused why anyone would even want to collect user data in the first place. Open source means open code—can't hide spyware when thousands of neckbeards are reading every line you commit. It's like showing up to a surveillance capitalism party and being the only one who brought actual privacy.

Only Setup You Need To Search For Cat Videos

Only Setup You Need To Search For Cat Videos
Someone built a literal Mac Mini data center just to browse the internet. That's right—dozens of Mac Minis, meticulously cabled and racked like they're running a Fortune 500 company's infrastructure, when in reality they're probably just streaming YouTube. The joke here is the absolutely insane overkill of creating a server farm with what appears to be 40+ Mac Minis (each costing a cool $600-$2000) for the most mundane task imaginable: watching cat videos. It's like hiring a NASA engineer to microwave your burrito. The cable management is actually pretty clean though, not gonna lie. Someone really said "if I'm going to waste an absurd amount of money on unnecessary hardware, I'm at least going to make it look professional." Respect the commitment to the bit, even if your electricity bill now rivals a small country's GDP.

Imagine The World With More Windows Computers

Imagine The World With More Windows Computers
Steve Jobs really tried to pull a "join us and kill your baby" move on Linus Torvalds back in 2000. Imagine the audacity: "Hey, come work for Apple, but first, stop doing that thing you're literally famous for creating." Torvalds looked at that offer, probably laughed in Finnish, and said "nah, I'm good." Thank the tech gods he did, because without Linux we'd be living in a dystopian hellscape where servers run Windows and Docker containers are just a fever dream. The man literally chose open-source ideals over a cushy Apple paycheck and continues maintaining the kernel that powers like 90% of the internet, Android phones, and basically every server worth its salt. Meanwhile, Steve's probably doing that prayer hands thing from beyond the grave, still wondering why anyone would turn down Apple.

Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas!
Nothing says "Happy Holidays" quite like your entire Apple ecosystem deciding to update simultaneously at 12%. The laptop's upgrading, the phone's boot-looping, and the iPad's doing... whatever iPads do when they're stuck on the Apple logo. It's like they all got together and said, "You know what would be fun? Let's all brick ourselves on Christmas morning." The best part? You can't even Google the error codes because your phone is also dead. So you just sit there, watching progress bars move slower than your sprint velocity, wondering if maybe this is a sign to spend time with your family instead. Spoiler: it's not, you need to fix this ASAP. Pro tip from someone who's been there: always keep one device NOT updating. It's called redundancy, and it's not just for production servers.

Someone Flexing With Golden iPhone 17 Pro Max... Until I Pull Out The Wallet

Someone Flexing With Golden iPhone 17 Pro Max... Until I Pull Out The Wallet
You think your golden iPhone is impressive? Cute. Meanwhile I'm carrying around enough RAM sticks to run a small data center. While normies flex their overpriced status symbols, we're out here hoarding hardware like dragons sitting on treasure piles. That wallet isn't storing credit cards—it's a portable server farm. Sure, your phone costs $1,500, but I've got $800 worth of DDR4 just casually chilling where normal people keep their driver's license. The real flex is explaining to TSA why your wallet sets off metal detectors and contains what looks like tiny circuit boards. "Sir, is that... RAM?" "Yes officer, 64GB of it. You never know when you need to download more memory."

More Like Memory Drain

More Like Memory Drain
Oh sure, Apple devs, tell me again how it's just a "small memory leak in edge cases." Meanwhile, Calculator is out here PAUSED and still consuming 90.17 GB of RAM like it's trying to calculate the exact number of ways I've been betrayed by my IDE. IntelliJ IDEA is also paused and casually munching on 4.86 GB because apparently even when it's sleeping, it dreams in memory consumption. Docker Desktop? A modest 2.67 GB. PyCharm? Another 2 GB. Clock app using 82 MB just to... tell time? The real tragedy here is that your entire system is having a full-blown existential crisis, throwing up a "Force Quit Applications" dialog like a white flag of surrender. When opening your browser history tab counts as an "edge case" that brings your Mac to its knees, maybe—JUST MAYBE—it's not so small after all. But sure, keep gaslighting us about those "edge cases" while our machines literally run out of memory just existing.

Infinite Money Glitch Found

Infinite Money Glitch Found
Someone just discovered the ultimate arbitrage opportunity in tech. Buy DDR5 RAM sticks for $510, harvest the chips, order three Mac Minis with base RAM, then pay Apple $400 to upgrade from 24GB to 48GB. Boom—you've essentially paid $910 for what would cost you $510 on the open market. Wait, that math doesn't work? Exactly. That's the joke. Apple's memory upgrade pricing is so astronomically inflated that people are genuinely considering desoldering RAM chips and performing surface-mount surgery on their Mac Minis. Because apparently that's easier than accepting Apple's "minor" $400 fee for 24GB of additional unified memory. The real kicker? Apple's unified memory architecture means you can't actually upgrade it yourself—it's soldered directly to the M-series chip. So you're stuck either paying the Apple tax upfront or living with whatever RAM you ordered. It's not a bug, it's a feature... of their profit margins.

Dev Asking A Valid Question

Dev Asking A Valid Question
Look, I've been in this industry long enough to see some wild takes, but asking if AirPods can translate between programming languages is genuinely next-level thinking. Like, if they can translate Spanish to English in real-time, why not Python to Rust? It's the same logic, right? Just different syntax trees passing through Bluetooth. The real tragedy here is that this would actually solve so many problems. Imagine talking to your legacy PHP codebase and having it come out as clean TypeScript. Or better yet, explaining your requirements in plain English and having them automatically translated to whatever cursed language your client insists on using. Someone get Apple on this. I'd pay $249 for AirPods that can translate my manager's feature requests into actual implementable code.

Apple User During The Ram Price Hike

Apple User During The Ram Price Hike
When global RAM prices spike 20% but you've already been paying Apple's 800% markup for years, you don't even flinch anymore. You were forged in the fires of $400 for an extra 8GB. You were shaped by the darkness of non-upgradeable soldered memory. Regular PC users panic when RAM goes from $50 to $60, but Apple users? They simply exist in a higher plane of financial pain where the concept of "reasonable hardware pricing" is but a distant memory. The rest of the tech world complains about inflation while Apple users have been living in their own private economic crisis since the first unibody MacBook. At this point, paying obscene amounts for basic specs isn't a bug—it's a lifestyle choice.

The Corporate Handshake Of Tech Features

The Corporate Handshake Of Tech Features
Google's Quick Share (the Android equivalent of AirDrop) is like that corporate guy showing up with a knockoff product, while Apple's AirDrop stands there with that "I've seen this movie before" face. The tech industry in a nutshell: Google announces cross-platform file sharing as if they've invented fire, while Apple silently pushes security updates that fix God-knows-what vulnerabilities they'll never actually explain. It's the classic tech relationship - one company loudly copies features, the other quietly patches holes without telling you what nightmare they just saved you from.

The Cross-Platform Trifecta Of Pain

The Cross-Platform Trifecta Of Pain
Ah, the universal law of cross-platform development. Linux and Windows builds passing with flying green checkmarks while macOS is just sitting there with its red error badge like "I woke up and chose violence today." The ticket says "Fix macOS build #3" which implies this is the developer's third attempt at appeasing the Apple gods. At this point, they're probably considering whether learning to herd actual cats might be easier than dealing with macOS build issues.