When Node.js Gets Undressed

Content Hacker Scripts Based on a true story: xxx: OK, so, our build engineer has left for another company. The dude was literally living inside the terminal. You know, that type of a guy who loves Vim, creates diagrams in Dot and writes wiki-posts in Markdown... If something - anything requires more than 90 seconds of his time, he writes a script to automate that. xxx: So we're sitting here, looking through his, uhm, "legacy" xxx: You're gonna love this xxx: smack-my-bitch-up.sh - sends a text message "late at work" to his wife (apparently). Automatically picks reasons from an array of strings, randomly. Runs inside a cron-job. The job fires if there are active SSH-sessions on the server after 9pm with his login. xxX: kumar-asshole.sh - scans the inbox for emails from "Kumar" (a DBA at our clients). Looks for keywords like "help", "trouble", "sorry etc. If keywords are found - the script SSHes into the clients server and rolls back the staging database to the latest backup. Then sends a reply "no worries mate, be careful next time". xxX: hangover.sh - another cron-job that is set to specific dates. Sends automated emails like "not feeling wellgonna work from home" etc. Adds a random "reason" from another predefined array of strings. Fires if there are no interactive sessions on the server at 8:45am. xxX: (and the oscar goes to) fucking-coffee.sh - this one waits exactly 17 seconds (!), then opens a telnet session to our coffee-machine (we had no frikin idea the coffee machine is on the network, runs linux and has a TCP socket up and running) and sends something like sys brew. Turns out this thing starts brewing a mid-sized half-caf latte and waits another 24 (!) seconds before pouring it into a cup. The timing is exactly how long it takes to walk to the machine from the dudes desk. xxx: holy sht I'm keeping those

Content Autocomplete in C Autocomplete in JavaScript

Spent four hours debugging why your function returns undefined only to realize you never actually called it? Classic. This is the programming equivalent of yelling at your TV remote before noticing it has no batteries. The transformation from rage monster to sheepish realization is the universal developer journey. Ten years in the industry and I still do this at least once a sprint.

Content It is lik programming with my grandfather Ordinary functions and objects. You only use basic HTTP requests. Why are you avoiding complexity? My mentor said it was enough for projects of this era.

The mobile developer's version of "bring your kids to work day" gone horribly wrong. Someone just wrapped their children in a LiquidGlassView component, which I'm pretty sure violates both React Native best practices AND several childcare laws. The real tragedy? Those kids are now stuck with a terrible UI refresh rate and probably no escape method. Should've used ScrollView so they could at least swipe away from their parent's terrible coding decisions.

Content TOP DEFINITION 1 f3 recursion See recursion. by Anonymous December 05, 2002 1007 43