Recruiting Memes

Posts tagged with Recruiting

The Three-Hour SQL Master Plan
Databases AI Programming Backend
14 days ago 166.5K views 0 shares
The Three-Hour SQL Master Plan
Ah yes, the classic tech industry pipeline: 2+ years of actual experience → underpaid → desperate → "become an expert in 3 hours" workshop. Nothing says legitimate career advancement like a LinkedIn post promising to transform you from an experienced but underpaid SQL developer into an "AI in SQL" expert faster than it takes to restore a corrupted database. For reference, 8 LPA (Lakhs Per Annum) is roughly $10K USD, so this guru is essentially targeting professionals who know they're worth more but haven't figured out how to escape the salary trap. The irony is that anyone with actual SQL experience would immediately recognize this query returns nothing but empty promises.

The Groovy Paradox
Java Programming
1 month ago 90.5K views 0 shares
The Groovy Paradox
The existential crisis of modern job hunting. LinkedIn asks if you know Groovy, and you're left wondering if they mean the actual JVM language or if you're just supposed to have a positive attitude. Either way, clicking "Yes" feels like a gamble that'll haunt your next technical interview. The recruiter probably doesn't know either.

The Five-Month Job Opportunity Revival
Webdev Programming Databases Frontend Backend
2 months ago 91.7K views 0 shares
The Five-Month Job Opportunity Revival
When that recruiter message from 5 months ago suddenly becomes relevant because your current project is imploding! The five-month gap between "I am looking for a person to build a data or webdev project with" and the developer's sudden interest is the digital equivalent of finding that one sock you lost two years ago—right when you've given up and thrown away its partner. Nothing says "my current situation has dramatically deteriorated" quite like revisiting ancient LinkedIn messages with newfound enthusiasm. That "Why lol" response is basically code for "my Git repository is on fire and my boss just asked if I've updated my resume recently."

I Have Work Experience
Javascript Webdev Programming Frontend
2 months ago 114.3K views 0 shares
I Have Work Experience
When your JS skills are so hot that recruiters think you can mix a mean cocktail. Nothing says "tech career pinnacle" like getting job offers to pour drinks because you know how to center a div. Five years of React experience and the algorithm thinks you'd be great at remembering which drinks need little umbrellas. Might as well put "can operate a blender" on your LinkedIn profile next to "full stack developer."

When Your HR's Keyword Filter Is Too Angular
Frontend Webdev Javascript Programming
3 months ago 128.8K views 1 shares
When Your HR's Keyword Filter Is Too Angular
Congratulations to HR for inventing a filter so powerful it rejected their own tech lead! Turns out they were searching for "AngularJS" when they needed "Angular" developers—two completely different frameworks that just happen to share a name and confuse non-technical people. The sweet irony? Their auto-rejection system was so efficiently broken that it filtered out every single qualified candidate for three months while HR kept lying about having "candidates in the pipeline." Nothing says corporate efficiency like designing an automated system to reject the exact people you're trying to hire! Half the HR department got fired, but hey—at least their keyword filtering worked flawlessly at something!

Rejected In Less Than A Minute
Programming
3 months ago 84.8K views 0 shares
Rejected In Less Than A Minute
When your resume gets rejected faster than a PR with 500 merge conflicts. The timestamps don't lie - Accenture managed to both welcome and dump this poor developer in the same minute. That's efficiency you can't teach. Somewhere, a recruiter is getting promoted for optimizing the rejection pipeline to sub-60-second latency.

Show Me Your Code, Not Your Credentials
Programming Webdev Javascript Frontend Backend
3 months ago 94.1K views 0 shares
Show Me Your Code, Not Your Credentials
Billionaire needs "hardcore" engineers for his "everything app" but doesn't care about credentials—just wants to see your code. Translation: "Please do a free coding challenge so we can harvest your ideas while dangling the possibility of employment." Ten-year veterans know the drill. Send in your "Hello World" program and call it a day. The real "everything app" is the burnout we collected along the way.

How To Kill Your Talent Pool In One Post
Agile Devops Programming Cloud
3 months ago 129.0K views 0 shares
How To Kill Your Talent Pool In One Post
Nothing says "we're desperate for developers" like being excited about project management software. It's like posting "ARE YOU PASSIONATE ABOUT EXCEL SPREADSHEETS?!" and expecting a stampede of applicants. Every developer just translated that job post as "we have 9,000 tickets in backlog and management wants daily status updates in triplicate." The only people thriving in that environment are the ones selling anxiety medication.