If Programming Languages Were Weapons

[text] If programming languages were weapons C is a set of nunchuks powerful and impressive when wielded but takes many years of pain to master and often you probably wish you were using something else. now. Java is a belt fed 240G automatic weapon where sometimes the belt has rounds sometimes it doesnt and when it doesnt during firing you get an NullPointerException the gun explodes and you die. Scala is a variant of the 240G Java except the training manual is written in an incomprehensible dialect which many suspect is just gibberish. o cul JavaScript is a sword without a hilt. Go is the custom made if err nil starter pistol and after each shot you must check to make sure it actually shot. Also it shoots tabs instead of blanks. Rust is a 3d printed gun. It may work some day. bash is a cursed hammer when wielded everything looks like a nail especially your thumb. Python is the v2v3 double barrel shotgun only one barrel will shoot at a time and you never end up shooting the recommended one. Also probably should have used a line tool to draw that. Ruby is a ruby encrusted sword it is usually only used because of how shiny itis. PHP is a hose you usually plug one end into a car exhaust and the other you stick in through a window and then you sit in the car and turn the engine on. Mathematica is a low earth orbit projectile cannon it could probably do amazing things if only anyone could actually afford one. C is a powerful laser rifle strapped to a donkey when taken off the donkey the laser doesnt seem to work as well. Prolog is an Al weapon you tell it what to do which it does but then it also builds some terminators to go back in time and kill your mom. Lisp is a shiv which comes in many forms. Anyone who uses this is probably crazy and dangerous.