The Programming Language Hunger Games

The classic trolley problem gets a programmer's twist! We've got two standards committees (TC39 for JavaScript and JTC1 for C++) tied to the nuclear option, while cancer and AIDS cures are on another track. Every developer knows the pain of dealing with language standards committees that seem to drag on forever with decisions that can blow up your codebase. The real moral dilemma: do you save humanity with medical breakthroughs, or do you finally put those endless committee meetings out of their misery? Let's be honest, we've all fantasized about nuking a standards meeting after implementing our 17th breaking change in a month.

Content WellPaidGeek WellPaidGeek Job specs be like: You need JavaScript React Redux Node Mongo E2E testing Docker Kubernetes AWS And I'm like: "You need to be paying me 3 salaries because that's 3 jobs" 1:01 AM Aug 18, 2019 Buffer

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Content rAskReddit uS Eleni 12h After you die, you get access to a database with all the information ever known or collected throughout human history. What do you search for first? Discussion T 4.5k 2.0k Share BEST COMMENTS NicNoletree 11h 1 Award Find out what database software they use, how much data they have, and begin looking at the table structure and relationships. Reply 4 1.4k jeremy1015 6h Plot twist: It's Mongo and the entirety of human history is stored in a single JSON object. The top level is a key called "events" and the value is an unsorted array. 4 217 J JuniorSenior Trainee 3h Turns out god is a really nervous DB admin waiting for the inevitable. All the Apocalypse stuff in the Bible was actually just a misunderstanding of him saying "Guys you don't get it, I literally built this shit in seven days when I probably should've spent years on it. But management was pressuring me to deliver in seven days so I had to hack together this garbage and it will definitely break any minute now. 159 Ar4n 2h Mistranslation in the Bible. On the 7th day he tested.

Nothing says "career pivot" quite like going from prison to React developer. The conversation starts innocently with someone worrying their 44-year-old brain can't handle learning React by 50, and ends with the most extreme backstory reveal in tech forum history. This is basically the dark universe version of those LinkedIn posts where people brag about learning to code after switching careers. "From convicted felon to frontend developer - anything is possible with determination and a good IDE!" And they say the tech interview process is brutal. At least no one's asking about your axe-murdering skills anymore.