Keeping Traditions Alive: Java 8 Edition

Content private bool foo; public bool IsFoo return foo; ? public bool SetFoo(bool val) foo val; public bool foo; Corporate needs you to find the differences between this picture and this picture. They're the same picture. made with mematic

Content ME BEING 5K MORE PRODUCTIVE, AND CODE 10X FASTER WITH JAVA 17 129722 OPS TEAM ALLOWING ONLY JAVA 8 IN PRODUCTION

Content Imperative stoneager Uses sed, awk, grep... on a daily TASTES 3 character long variable names "00P is literally Hitler" Never bashes rychon or Javascript. proudly uses them to make elitists Wrote 95 of all programs that power the modern world Doesn't care what OS or editor hee MIs main machine nappens to be a 2013 MacbOOk Air he got as a git Writes his own software runctiona elitist Watches Computerphile, thinks it's accuac programming "Monad g000" "Lazy evaluation good" "Loop bad" "Mutate bad" "Imperative not elegant" writes code on paper to avoid side effects Responsible or 0 lines or code in produccion Uses Emacs with a light theme on an oLd Debian machine Uses software written by imperative stoneager 00P boilerplater -obsessed newager His job consists of writing the same boilerplate code every single day and he LOVES it "Rust will replace C and C" Always includes a safety section in his documentation Watches Bob Martin, thinks the quy is a genius "Here is this awesome PR, bro, it replaces vour unsate code with my slow and verbose but safe code" His variable names consist of at easts whole words "Oh, I need an object for this piece of data, let me make a class No support for macOS, but writes an entire page of documentation on how to hack an installation on windows real ack to anticinate all the Best he's ever accomplished is possible scenarios mav or mav not writing a colored version or cat encounter in the far future" and Ls Responsible for 95 of all lines of . Uses Neovin with Grusboy color code in the world scheme on Arch Linux Uses JetBrains IDES on windows Uses bloated proprietary software Mechanical keyboard, 34-inch monitor no zoom when he screencasts, if you can't see too had

Content Java Script

Even ancient philosophers can't escape syntax errors! Poor guy is sitting there contemplating the universe when his real problem is just a typo. He declared "ovid" instead of "void" and now his existential crisis is actually just a compiler error. The statue's deep contemplative pose really sells it - like he's been debugging for 2000 years and still hasn't spotted the missing 'v'. Classical debugging at its finest!

First panel: Developer claims to hate Java with its strict typing and verbose syntax. Second panel: Python appears, with its friendly mascot offering dynamic typing and significant whitespace as alternatives. Third panel: Developer gets introduced to Python's syntax. Fourth panel: Developer now coding in Python: "Wow, I hate this SO MUCH MORE!" It's the classic programming language Stockholm syndrome. You start hating what you know, try something new, and suddenly your original captor doesn't seem so bad. "At least Java's curly braces never betrayed me with an invisible tab character."