The Great GPU Identity Crisis

"Ignore RGB" they said, as their PC case literally transforms into a miniature sun. That PC isn't running code—it's conducting nuclear fusion. The irony of developers spending $3000 on hardware just to open Spotify and VS Code is not lost on me. And let's not forget the temperature display showing what must be the CPU's desperate cry for help. Nothing says "I'm a serious programmer" like being able to toast marshmallows from three feet away while debugging.

Ah, the Chrome trade agreement. Google's browser offers you the worst deal in the history of deals, possibly ever. You hand over 9.6GB of precious RAM and get... a single browser tab. Not even a whole browsing experience—just one lonely tab. The memory leak is so bad you could water plants with it. Meanwhile, your computer fans sound like they're preparing for takeoff while you're just trying to check the weather. And yet, here we are, still using it. Stockholm syndrome is real in tech.

Ah yes, the dark ages of computing. Before FORTRAN showed up in 1956, programmers were just keyboard warriors in the most literal sense - manually toggling 0s and 1s like prehistoric savages. Nothing says "I'm having a productive day at work" like frantically flipping physical switches for eight hours straight while your coworkers wonder if you're having a seizure or actually programming something. The best part? Debugging meant checking if your finger slipped on switch #4,271. Good times.

The universal IT solution that works 60% of the time, every time: turning it off and on again. Nothing quite matches that smug confidence when you stroll into a meeting after "fixing" a critical system by simply hitting restart. Meanwhile, actual IT support people are chasing you down like "WAIT! We need to check the logs first!" Too late. I've already ascended to tech hero status with my sophisticated troubleshooting technique that dates back to the stone age of computing.

Remember when GPUs were simple, single-slot cards that barely needed cooling? Now NVIDIA's dropping 150W TDP cards and calling them "efficient." The top image shows the classic reference design that board partners would just slap their logo on. The bottom shows what happens when those same partners get to "improve" it – triple-fan monstrosities that require their own zip code and power substation. Yet somehow we're all nodding along like "yes, this is reasonable progress." My electric bill begs to differ.

Your hacky code works because we're all just manipulating fancy rocks. CPUs are literally silicon (sand) that we've meticulously flattened, etched, and zapped with electricity until they somehow process logic. So next time your questionable regex or bizarre workaround functions perfectly, remember: you've successfully communicated with an electrified rock. The universe is absurd and your code is just one more layer of this cosmic joke.