Sort By Price: High-Low, Wallet: Empty

When your wallet's crying but your FPS is flying! The classic developer optimization strategy: spend $2000 on an RTX 4090 that pushes 240 frames per second... then display it on a 720p monitor from 2012 because "technically" lower resolution = higher frame rates. It's like buying a Ferrari but only driving in school zones. Galaxy brain move right there.

Oh. My. GOD. The AUDACITY of putting a "DO NOT CONNECT TO LAN/INTERNET" sticker with a skull and crossbones on a laptop that LITERALLY HAS AN ETHERNET PORT RIGHT BELOW IT! It's like putting a "do not eat" sign on a cake and then serving it with a fork! This is the digital equivalent of telling someone they can't swim while pushing them into a pool. Some poor IT admin is having heart palpitations somewhere knowing that temptation is just ONE cable away from complete and utter catastrophe! That laptop must be harboring government secrets or the world's most embarrassing browser history! 💀

The corporate tech hierarchy is brutally accurate. CEOs get tiny iPhones because they're too busy "visioning" to actually look at spreadsheets. Meanwhile, the poor dev with dual monitors is cranking out code like a machine, probably hasn't seen sunlight in days, and is surviving purely on caffeine and stack overflow answers. The irony? The person with the most screens is simultaneously the most valuable and least appreciated asset in the company. That second monitor isn't a status symbol—it's a necessity for comparing your broken code with the documentation that lied to you.

Ah yes, the infamous "fourth USB port that requires quantum physics to insert correctly." Some diabolical hardware engineer decided three normal USB ports wasn't enough torture and added that sideways HDMI port just to watch the world burn. It's the tech equivalent of putting a fake electrical outlet at the airport. That special kind of evil that makes you try to plug in your USB cable 17 times before realizing you're attempting to jam it into what is clearly NOT a USB port. Whoever designed this deserves to spend eternity trying to plug a USB-A cable in correctly on the first try.

This Yu-Gi-Oh card perfectly encapsulates the god-tier status of that one technician who can fix literally anything in your office. You know the one—the person who somehow knows how to unjam the printer, reset the router, recover your "accidentally deleted" production database, AND explain why your code works on their machine but not yours. The effect text is chef's kiss: buffs all your machine-type monsters (your infrastructure), can special summon from your deck (pull solutions out of thin air), and the "Your mom's toothbrush" spell card immunity is just *peak* absurdist humor. Plus the 3800 ATK means this card is absolutely busted—just like how that one tech wizard makes everyone else's troubleshooting attempts look pathetic. The real kicker? If they've been in your field for 3 turns, you can summon a "Gooch collector" from your deck but it gets destroyed at the End phase. Translation: their help is temporary, and eventually you're on your own again. Better hope they don't leave for another company or you're all doomed.

OMG, the IT department has LOST THEIR MINDS! They've stacked every network switch in the building into this absolute MONSTROSITY of a Christmas tree! The colorful ethernet cables are like garland, the star screensaver is the cherry on top, and the whole thing is one trip away from the most CATASTROPHIC network outage in history! Meanwhile, Santa's over here writing SQL queries to determine who's been naughty or nice. Honestly, this is what happens when you give network engineers holiday spirit and zero supervision. The database admin is probably having HEART PALPITATIONS right now!