Financial Priorities Of The PC Master Race

The EXISTENTIAL CRISIS of staring at two buttons labeled "Ray Tracing" and "Path Tracing" and having ABSOLUTELY NO CLUE what unholy difference exists between them! 💦 Meanwhile, your GPU is SCREAMING in the background as you toggle between settings that might as well be labeled "Make Computer Hot" and "Make Computer SLIGHTLY HOTTER." The audacity of game developers to assume we know what these rendering techniques do beyond "pretty graphics go brrr" is just... *chef's kiss* MAGNIFICENT.

Ah, the infamous RFC 1149 (IP over Avian Carriers) - the networking protocol we never needed but definitely deserved. Some network engineer looked at carrier pigeons and thought "yeah, that's reliable infrastructure." The punchline here is brutal - a dead bird labeled as "packet loss." When your ping times are measured in hours and your data packets can be taken out by neighborhood cats, maybe fiber optic isn't so bad after all. Still better uptime than some cloud providers I've worked with though.

The EXCRUCIATING PAIN of hearing someone call the monitor "the computer" or explain how they "downloaded more RAM" from a sketchy website! That face is the PHYSICAL MANIFESTATION of every developer's soul slowly leaving their body while nodding politely through gritted teeth. We're just sitting there, blood pressure skyrocketing, mentally screaming "IT'S NOT A VIRUS, YOUR COMPUTER IS SLOW BECAUSE YOU HAVE 47 CHROME TABS OPEN WITH FACEBOOK GAMES!" But instead we smile and say "Have you tried turning it off and on again?" because we're professionals... dying inside, but professionals.

The AUDACITY of the universe to dangle my exact mouse model in front of me at 44¢! After I made a BLOOD OATH against Logitech for their unrepairable gadgets! It's like the golden idol from Indiana Jones, but instead of triggering booby traps, it'll trigger my wallet to open despite my dramatic vows of hardware celibacy. The self-control required here is SUPERHUMAN. That shiny mouse is whispering sweet nothings like "I'm practically free" while my trauma screams "BUT FOR HOW LONG BEFORE I BREAK?!"

THE ABSOLUTE AUDACITY of hardware questions in 2023! 💅 Is 12GB VRAM a lot? Well DARLING, for your precious little Fortnite sessions? It's like bringing a nuclear warhead to a water balloon fight. But for training your fancy Large Language Model? That's like trying to fill the Grand Canyon with a sippy cup! PATHETIC! The way AI developers sob uncontrollably when someone suggests training a decent model on consumer hardware is just *chef's kiss* DRAMATIC. Meanwhile, gamers are over there with their RGB everything, treating 12GB like it's barely adequate for their precious ray-traced puddles.

The high-refresh-rate rabbit hole claims another victim. Once you've experienced the buttery smoothness of 144 FPS gaming, your standards get completely warped. Suddenly 60 FPS—which used to be the gold standard we all dreamed about—feels like watching a PowerPoint presentation. Your GPU is crying, your electricity bill is skyrocketing, but you refuse to compromise because "I just don't think at this age I'm meant to live an uncomfortable life." The gaming equivalent of refusing to drink anything but top-shelf liquor after that one time you splurged.