Apple Ram Upgrades Are Starting To Look Cheap

OH. MY. GAWD. The absolute AUDACITY of this network engineer playing a platformer game on their phone while using a LITERAL NETWORK SWITCH as a table! This is what happens when you give IT people too much free time! The pun is just too much—they're gaming "on" a switch, but not the Nintendo kind! The network equipment is crying silently underneath that phone, wondering how it went from routing critical packets to being degraded to furniture. The betrayal! The horror! The complete disregard for proper equipment handling! I can't even right now! 💀

Remember when DDR3 felt fast? Now we're watching DDR5 literally rocket past everything like it's got a nuclear engine strapped to it. The hardware acceleration is getting ridiculous—we went from "cute little car" to "ACTUAL SPACECRAFT" in just two generations. Meanwhile, your code is still just as inefficient as ever. Sure, throw more memory at it! That'll fix those 47 nested for-loops you wrote after your third energy drink at 3 AM. At this rate, DDR6 will just be a black hole that sucks your wallet into another dimension while promising to load your Electron apps 0.002 seconds faster.

That ancient Windows 98 laptop begging for sweet release while its buff owner refuses to let go is the perfect metaphor for corporate IT. Somewhere, right now, a critical banking system is running on this exact machine because "it still works fine" and "upgrading might break something." The same people who rush to buy the latest smartphone are forcing this poor machine to run another day. It's not vintage—it's technological torture.

Santa's reading this kid's Christmas list asking for 64GB of DDR5-8000MHz RAM and immediately yeeting himself out the window like his workshop just got hit with a bankruptcy notice. Because apparently, asking for cutting-edge memory specs is now more expensive than asking for a pony, a yacht, AND world peace combined! Remember when 8GB was considered "plenty" and 16GB made you a power user? Now kids are out here casually requesting server-grade specs like they're ordering fries at McDonald's. The RAM market has gotten so absurdly expensive that even magical beings with infinite toy-making capabilities are tapping out. Santa's insurance doesn't cover DDR5 requests, sweetie! The real tragedy? By the time Christmas morning rolls around, DDR6 will probably be announced and this kid's wish list will be obsolete anyway. 💸

The strongman pulling a truck represents your CPU - powerful but working alone, handling one big task at a time. Meanwhile, the GPU is like those dozens of people working together to pull an airplane - individually weaker but massively parallel. After 15 years in tech, I've watched countless developers throw CPU cores at problems that scream for GPU parallelization. It's like watching someone use a sledgehammer to hang a picture frame.

The great CPU architecture debate, summarized with minimal effort. On the left, x86-64 represented by a mathematical graph. On the right, ARM represented by... an actual human arm. And there in the corner, RISC-V illustrated with what appears to be lines of cocaine. The perfect technical comparison doesn't exi—