crypto Memes

We All Need Backup Plans

We All Need Backup Plans
The four horsemen of tech career desperation! When the code stops compiling and the paychecks might follow suit: Plan A: Become a crypto day trader. Because nothing says "stable income" like watching green and red candles while having seven heart attacks before lunch. Plan B: Professional gambling. Trading Stack Overflow reputation for actual poker chips. The odds might actually be better than debugging that legacy codebase. Plan C: Find a rich elderly partner. Swapping "dependency injection" for just "dependency." Hey, explaining what an API is for the 47th time is still easier than explaining why your PR broke production. Plan D: Become a drug kingpin. From distributing packages via npm to... well, distributing "packages." At least the user feedback is more consistent.

Heater For My Room

Heater For My Room
The ultimate dual-purpose code! When room temperature drops below 23.5°C, start mining Bitcoin to generate heat from your overworked CPU/GPU. Otherwise, just chill for 10 seconds before checking again. Genius solution for winter utility bills - your computer either warms your room or conserves energy while waiting for the next temperature drop. Modern problems require modern solutions that make your electricity bill skyrocket in completely different ways!

If Devs Were D&D Classes

If Devs Were D&D Classes
Ah, the sacred scrolls of developer archetypes. The Barbarian who worships C and recites man pages is just your average Unix greybeard who thinks anything after Perl is heresy. The Rogue is basically every crypto bro with questionable ethics and a VPN. Wizards are those mythical 10x developers whose code is so advanced no one can maintain it after they leave. Clerics are the TDD zealots who'd rather write tests than actually ship anything. And Druids? Just sysadmins who've spent so much time in server rooms they've started identifying as network packets. I've worked with all five. The Druid still owes me $20 and insists I call him "FoxTail69" at happy hour.

Gaming Rig Moonlighting As Parking Attendant

Gaming Rig Moonlighting As Parking Attendant
That awkward moment when the parking payment kiosk has better specs than your work computer. Someone clearly repurposed a gaming rig with RGB lighting to process your $5 parking fee. Meanwhile, developers everywhere are still waiting for IT to approve that 8GB RAM upgrade request from 2019. Bet this thing mines crypto in its spare time between printing receipts. Probably runs Crysis at 120fps while you're fumbling for quarters.

Average developer vs Senior developer

Average developer vs Senior developer | developer-memes, tech-memes, computing-memes, google-memes, search-memes, crypto-memes, network-memes, microsoft-memes | ProgrammerHumor.io
Content Average Developer: Q Search John Google GDE Microsoft MVP San Francisco, CA Contact info 500 connections Senior Developer: Q Search Kana-chan Bwockchain Enginyeew ( wo") Kingdom of Lugnica Contact info 500 connections Home My Network Jobs Messaging Any big tech Bachelor's Degree in Computing 1P Home Am My Network JODS Messaging Underground crypto company from east European Self-taught

Torture Rules

tortureRules | password-memes, crypto-memes, rds-memes, laptop-memes | ProgrammerHumor.io
Content A CRYPTO NERDS IMAGINATION: HIS LAPTOP'S ENCRYPTED. LET'S BUILD A MILLION-DOLLAR CLUSTER TO CRACK IT. NO GOOD! IT'S 4096 -BIT RSA! BLAST! OUR EVIL PLAN 15 FOILED! WHAT WOULD ACTUALLY HAPPEN: HIS LAPTOP'S ENCRYPTED. DRUG HIM AND HIT HIM WITH THIS 5 WRENCH UNTIL HE TELLS US THE PASSWORD. GOT IT.

The jig is up. I guess it's time to learn a real skill.

The jig is up. I guess it's time to learn a real skill. | tech-memes, technology-memes, amazon-memes, global-memes, git-memes, apple-memes, oracle-memes, rest-memes, ssl-memes, crypto-memes, microsoft-memes, IT-memes, ML-memes, zend-memes, twitter-memes | ProgrammerHumor.io
Content Crypto.com understated layoffs, dismissed at least 40 of Opendoor lays off about 550 employees, or Netflix ItS worktorce. report The company has gone through two downsizing rounds, one in May and the other in June, letting go of at least 500 employees Zendesk to lay off 5 of staff, Tiger Global-backed Chargebee lays off 142 emplovee: Seattle-based Zillow lays off 300 18 of its workforce DocuSign to cut 9 of workforce Twilio lays off 11 of workforce as part of restructuring plan the Big Tech bloodbath Meta Lays Off More Than 11,000 Robinhood slashes costs by 69 Employees after layoff rounds Booking.com Restructuring Will Pare Its Workforce By Up to 25 Percent I CNBC Stripe lays off 14 of workers Reuters Twitter says 50 of staff laid off, Salesforce confirms it has laid off hundreds of employees a CNBC Despite laying off 20 of its Amazon pauses hiring for corporate workforce workforce, Snap reports underwhelming 05 earnings Intel Plans to Lay Off Thousands of Employees As the Chipmaker Looks to Trim Costs Digital bank Chime is cutting costs across the board - including 12 of staff Microsoft confirms iob cuts after SurveyMonkey parent Momentive Global lays Shopify stock sinks 14 after off 11 of workforce Shapis stack inks al oft or calling for growth to slow workers Seagate Technology Layoffs Hit 3,000 Workers, Apple slashes budgets and implements broad Cvbereason Cuts 200 More hiring freeze, report claims Coinbase lays off 1,100 full-time BUSINESS workers over recession fears NEWS Oracle continues to lay off staff in the US Lyft to Lay Off About 700 Employees in Second Round of Job Cuts

For a second, I thought this was satire from this sub

For a second, I thought this was satire from this sub | crypto-memes | ProgrammerHumor.io
Content Promoted We're building an NFT-based crypto super intelligence.

Blockchain use cases

Blockchain use cases | loc-memes, lock-memes, blockchain-memes, crypto-memes | ProgrammerHumor.io
Content Should you use blockchain Are you making a cryptocurrency? Yes Please Stop No No

everyone knows software devs are interchangeable and code bloat is a myth /s

everyone knows software devs are interchangeable and code bloat is a myth /s | software-memes, code-memes, development-memes, devs-memes, crypto-memes, twitter-memes, comment-memes | ProgrammerHumor.io
Content Twitter's Crypto Head and Staff Resign in Mass Musk Exodus News finance.yahoo.com vote S 0 21 SINGLE COMMENT THREAD a Share 4 Award VIEW ALL 7 DrVentureYT 11h It's easier for people to walk than to fire them. Everyone is replaceable h Reply unpopulrOpiniOn 10h Tell me you don't know how software development works without telling me you don't know how software development works

What Is This Qualification

whatIsThisQualification | python-memes, engineer-memes, engineering-memes, crypto-memes, cryptography-memes, devops-memes, cs-memes, rust-memes, graph-memes | ProgrammerHumor.io
Content Helpful Qualifications: You've recently graduated from a top engineering school (or are willing to drop out) Experience in golang, python, or rust Familiarity with cryptography or crypto-L2s Exposure to devos, statistics, and system architecture

PHP Devs be like

PHP Devs be like | php-memes, web-memes, devs-memes, crypto-memes | ProgrammerHumor.io
Content PHP is dead Web3 Crypto is dead