Over My Dead Body

Oh honey, someone said "microservices" in a meeting and suddenly the entire engineering team went feral and split their beautiful monolith into 47 different services that all call each other synchronously. Congratulations, you've created a distributed monolith with extra steps and network latency! 🎉 The unmasking here is BRUTAL. You thought you were being all fancy with your "microservice architecture," but really you just took one tangled mess and turned it into a tangled mess that now requires Kubernetes, service mesh, distributed tracing, and a PhD to debug. When Service A needs Service B which needs Service C which needs Service A again, you haven't decoupled anything – you've just made a circular dependency nightmare that crashes spectacularly at 2 PM on a Friday. The whole point of microservices is LOOSE COUPLING and independent deployability, not creating a REST API spaghetti monster where changing one endpoint breaks 23 other services. But sure, tell your CTO how "cloud-native" you are while your deployment takes 45 minutes and requires updating 12 services in the exact right order. Chef's kiss! 💋

Content SAAS lulz SAASIulz Exclusive shot of the AWS UXUI design offices. 7:32 PM Apr 6, 2021 Twitter Web App ProdrammerHumor.io

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Content LADIES AND GENTLEMEN IT IS WITH GREAT PLEASURE THAT I INFORM YOU I HAVE FINALLY CONTRIBUTED SOME MEANINGFUL CODE TO THE COMPANY I HAVE BEEN WORKING FOR THE LAST 6 MONTHS

The nightmare of every DevOps engineer - literal shipping containers labeled "API" stacked like Docker containers. Your therapist says Dockerised APIs can't hurt you, but there they are, physically manifesting in the real world. This is what happens when you take "containerization" too literally. Next thing you know, your microservices will be delivered by actual microscopic courier services.

Content I want to buy a fog machine and put it in a data center So when open the door, fog spills out, Ican say "Welcome to THE CLOUD!"