Death By Unreal Engine 5

The code is a perfect example of why game developers shouldn't be allowed near RNGs unsupervised! 😂 What we're looking at is a glorious mess of Python where someone created two nearly identical functions ( count_greater_than_11 and count_greater_than_5 ) that generate random numbers between 1-20 and increment a counter when the number exceeds a threshold. But wait! The function names and comments don't even match - one says "greater than 11" in the comment but checks for > 10 in the code, while the other claims to check for > 5 but actually checks for > 4! And then there's that lonely is_divisible_by_7 function at the bottom, just hanging out with no apparent connection to anything else. It's like someone started implementing their own version of RNG bias with specific magic numbers, got bored halfway through, and shipped it anyway. This is probably why that boss battle feels unfairly difficult every 7th attempt...

NVIDIA CEO: "Just use AI to double your VRAM!" My wallet: *screams in financial agony* 💸 The AUDACITY of suggesting we just casually drop $3000 on a graphics card! What's next? Selling a kidney to run Stable Diffusion? The absolute DELUSION that we're all swimming in money pools like tech billionaires! Meanwhile I'm over here calculating if I can afford both electricity AND ramen this month. The GPU market isn't just a clown show anymore—it's the entire circus, complete with overpriced admission tickets! 🎪

Nothing turns a peaceful gamer into a keyboard-smashing rage monster faster than 500ms of network latency. You're just calmly playing your game when suddenly your character starts teleporting around like they've discovered quantum physics, and then—BAM—you're dead because your perfectly timed headshot registered somewhere in the digital void between your PC and the server. The controller that was in your hand? Now mysteriously embedded in your drywall. Not because video games cause violence... but because that &%$#@ lag definitely does.

The ultimate recursive procrastination loop! This starterpack brutally exposes the indie game dev lifecycle with surgical precision. Instead of actually coding their game, devs spend countless hours making elaborate docs about worldbuilding, obsessing over engine choices, refreshing wishlists for dopamine hits, and watching YouTube tutorials they'll never implement. The "just write a book guy" with 50+ Google Docs but zero engine experience is painfully accurate. And that "thinking about a name for 2 months" hit way too close to home. Meanwhile, the "backseat dev" who thinks every problem is solved with "just add a shader" or "just add multiplayer" exists in every Discord server known to mankind. The imposter syndrome is real—nobody understands how much work goes into making a game until they've stared blankly at their code at 3AM wondering why their character controller is suddenly launching their protagonist into the stratosphere. And of course, there's always that one dev who buys every asset pack but never ships anything. The irony? Creating this starterpack was itself a form of procrastination. Meta-procrastination at its finest!

Remember when NVIDIA promised us RTX would revolutionize gaming? Fast forward to reality where we've gone from "RTX Hair" that just makes characters look like they haven't showered in weeks to "HairWorks" that completely overhauls physics but turns your $3000 GPU into a space heater. Meanwhile, the doge meme evolved from normal to buff while our framerates went from 60 to slideshow. Graphics cards marketing in a nutshell: "Sure, your game runs at 3 FPS now, but look at those gloriously realistic individual strands of greasy hair!"

Ah, the classic "explaining graphics programming to someone who just wanted to know what you do for a living." Guy's deep in the weeds about shadow mapping and depth buffers while she's probably wondering if she can escape to the bathroom. The thousand-yard stare of the man in front is all of us who've overheard a developer monologuing about technical minutiae at a social event. Pro tip: save the rendering pipeline discussions for the second date.