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So you thought teaching your kid C++, HTML, CSS, and JavaScript would give them a head start in tech? Well, congratulations—you've successfully created a tiny alcoholic named Toby. Nothing says "childhood trauma" quite like trying to center a div before you can even tie your shoes.
The real kicker here is that they started with C++ for kids. That's like teaching a toddler existential philosophy before they learn the alphabet. By the time little Toby got to JavaScript's callback hell and CSS's "why won't this align properly" nightmares, the poor kid never stood a chance. At least they're getting an authentic developer experience early—crippling stress and substance dependency issues included.
Parents really said "let's speedrun burnout" and wondered why their kid turned out like a senior developer at age 7.
