Just Add The Commit Hook

The existential crisis hits hard when junior devs finally grasp that their precious code is just a tiny speck in an endless Russian doll of virtualization. Their Java app isn't running on a "computer" – it's running on a Java Virtual Machine, which is running on a VM, which is running on a hypervisor, which is part of a Virtual Private Cloud... which is probably running in some AWS data center that might not even physically exist for all we know. Seven years into my career and I'm still not convinced my code isn't just running in a simulation inside another developer's fever dream. The turtles really do go all the way down.

Ah, the beautiful romance between a developer and their untested code - a love story more tragic than Romeo and Juliet. The tender embrace in the top panel represents that magical moment when you've just written what you believe is absolute perfection . Your code is your precious baby, and you're Thor, mighty and invincible. Then reality strikes. The QA team (aka The Hulk) shows up and absolutely demolishes your masterpiece with a single test run. Suddenly your precious code isn't lovingly cradled - it's being smashed into the floor like Loki in that infamous Avengers scene. The duality is just *chef's kiss*. One minute you're whispering sweet nothings to your elegant solution, the next minute it's "HULK SMASH PUNY EDGE CASE HANDLING!" And your beautiful relationship? Reduced to a pile of JIRA tickets and wounded pride.

The existential dread of Android developers hits different! Nothing like worrying about your digital legacy while Google breathes down your neck with update requirements. That reply though... "You can access them through the cloud" is peak developer humor. Sure, because we all know the afterlife has excellent WiFi and Google account recovery options. Maybe St. Peter is running OAuth2 at the pearly gates? Forget writing a will for your house—gotta set up that posthumous CI/CD pipeline to keep your apps compliant with whatever Material Design version they're on by 2073.

Ah yes, the classic "I clicked the 'Update' button on my phone and now I'm basically a Google engineer" syndrome. Nothing says "tech prodigy" quite like taking credit for an automated system update while tweeting from your smart refrigerator. Next week they'll be adding "helped design quantum computing architecture" to their LinkedIn after turning their Wi-Fi router off and on again.

Adding more developers to a stuck project is like adding more people to drive a cart stuck in mud. The obvious solution? More horsepower to pull it out. The corporate solution? Add more drivers who'll just sit there smoking while the same horse struggles. Next sprint planning meeting, I'll just bring this picture instead of speaking. Saves everyone 45 minutes.

Nothing says "I'm a professional" like joining the 9AM standup meeting from bed, camera reluctantly on, looking like you've been debugging in production all night. That tie says "I'm business-ready" but those dead eyes scream "I pushed to main at 2AM and everything is fine, totally fine."