Shame On You Boss

The handshake between Mr. Krabs and Patrick Star perfectly symbolizes the unspoken alliance of suffering that programmers and artists share. While we're busy arguing about tabs vs. spaces or RGB vs. CMYK, some CEO is slapping their name on our 2AM caffeine-fueled creation. Nothing quite builds solidarity like watching your Git commits or Photoshop layers get repackaged as "executive vision." The real kicker? The stolen code probably runs better than when I wrote it, but that's beside the point.

Blind as a bat when reviewing your own code, but suddenly equipped with NASA-grade telescope vision when it's someone else's mess. Nothing quite like the supernatural ability to spot every single anti-pattern, security vulnerability, and poorly named variable in code you didn't write, while your own masterpiece—complete with commented-out debug statements from 2019 and that one function named temp_fix_delete_later_v4 —somehow looks flawless. The real code review superpower isn't finding bugs, it's the selective blindness we develop for our own crimes against computing.

Two fish cops showing a ticket for a "git merge conflict... 9999 lines" while Patrick Star looks horrified with "VIBE CODERS" caption. Nothing kills the coding flow faster than a massive merge conflict. Just another Monday where your weekend project collides with what your coworker pushed Friday at 4:59pm. Time to either become a farmer or spend the next 8 hours deciding which curly brace belongs where.

Oh, the classic "I've been nodding along in meetings for 6 months" syndrome! This poor soul has reached that critical point in every tech project where admitting ignorance feels more terrifying than continuing the charade. Meanwhile, production is probably on fire, deployments are failing, and this person's search history is just "what is devops" and "how to pretend you understand kubernetes." The irony is that actual DevOps engineers spend half their careers explaining what DevOps actually is... to people who should already know!

The eternal GitHub vs GitLab debate summed up in one perfect comic. Sure, Mom says she loves both platforms equally, but we all know where her Git repository really lies. Let's be honest - every dev team claims to be "platform agnostic" until it's time to actually choose where to host code. Then suddenly GitHub gets all the attention while GitLab sits in the corner wondering why its CI/CD pipeline and integrated DevOps features aren't enough to win Mom's heart. The "by a lot" is what kills me. It's that brutal honesty you only get after 3am during a production outage.

The dark art of git push --force - when you're so done with merge conflicts that you just nuke the repository from orbit. That nervous look is the exact face you make when you realize Monday-you will have no idea what happened to everyone else's code. But hey, weekend beer isn't going to drink itself. Future tip: Add --force-with-lease to your arsenal. It's like having a safety on your repository destruction gun.