DevOps Hate When You Use This One Trick

Spending 30 minutes writing a script to automate a 5-minute task is the developer equivalent of climbing Mount Everest "because it's there." Sure, we'll never break even on the time investment, but that's not the point. The point is that manual labor is for peasants, and we are nobility . We'd rather spend six times longer crafting an elegant solution than suffer through the indignity of clicking the same button twice. It's not procrastination—it's optimization . And we'll die on that hill, wearing our sunglasses indoors like the cool problem-solvers we pretend to be.

The dark satisfaction of Windows developers inserting carriage return line feed (CRLF) into every merged file is perfectly captured here. While Unix-based systems use just LF (\n) for line endings, Windows insists on CRLF (\r\n) and will fight to the death for those extra bytes. Nothing like breaking git diffs and causing merge conflicts across operating systems because Windows decided in 1981 that mimicking typewriters was the future of computing. The smug expression says it all - "Yes, I've ruined your clean line endings, and I'd do it again."

Ah, the infinite recursion of corporate time tracking. You're spending so much time documenting your hours in Jira that you need to document the time spent documenting time... and then document that time too. It's the bureaucratic equivalent of a stack overflow, except your sanity crashes first. Eight years into my career and I've started estimating "Jira maintenance" as its own task. 2 hours per sprint just to update tickets that tell management what I'm doing instead of, you know, actually doing it. The real joke? Somewhere there's a product manager using this data to optimize workflows. Irony, thy name is enterprise software.

The DRAMATIC DIFFERENCE between hearing "you're absolutely right" the first time versus the 985th time during code reviews! 😭 That top panel is the PURE JOY of your first accepted pull request - you're practically FLOATING on cloud nine! But that bottom panel? That's the soul-crushing deadness in your eyes after submitting your 985th fix and your senior dev STILL manages to find something wrong. "You're absolutely right!" you say through gritted teeth while secretly plotting to "accidentally" delete the entire codebase. The emotional journey from eager puppy to dead-inside zombie is just *chef's kiss* relatable.

That skeleton isn't just decorative—it's the developer who filed the ticket three months ago. Medium priority means "we'll get to it after the heat death of the universe." Meanwhile, the poor soul has been waiting so long they've decomposed to bones, still dutifully checking for updates every morning. The headphones are a nice touch... gotta stay on Spotify while you wait for eternity. Welcome to enterprise IT, where your urgent bug fix competes with "change the button color" tickets that somehow got marked as P1.

OMG, the absolute CHAOS of development teams in their natural habitat! 💀 First we have someone proudly announcing "the energy I bring to the team" followed by their comment "i'm merging it. f*ck the tests" - the battle cry of every developer with a deadline breathing down their neck! Then the cherry on top: "writing testcases for your code is doubting your own coding abilities. it's a sign of weakness." EXCUSE ME?! That's like saying using a parachute when skydiving shows a lack of confidence in gravity! The sheer AUDACITY of these developers thinking their code is immaculate conception that needs no verification! Future bugs are literally SCREAMING in excitement waiting to be deployed to production!