Broadcom's Explosive Pricing Strategy

The perfect encapsulation of modern corporate development culture. You spend 90% of your time in meetings discussing features that will never see the light of day, while your actual coding time shrinks to whatever's left between "sync-ups" and "alignment sessions." The grumpy cat perfectly captures that dead-inside feeling when you realize your job title says "developer" but your calendar says "professional meeting attendee." The genius insight here? Can't have technical debt if you never write any actual code. *taps forehead*

The sacred men's room code: stare straight ahead, no talking, and definitely no AI productivity tool recommendations while someone's mid-stream. Nothing worse than being cornered at the urinal by the office AI evangelist explaining how GitHub Copilot will save your career with those made-up productivity percentages. Just let me pee in peace before telling me I'll be automated out of existence, thanks.

When Google thinks you're having an existential crisis, but you're just trying to fix your codebase! Merge conflicts—where Git basically says "I have no idea which version of this code to keep, YOU figure it out." Those dreaded red and green highlights that make you question your career choices. Google's algorithm has clearly been trained on developer tears, immediately offering the suicide prevention hotline as if to say, "We know what resolving merge conflicts does to a person's mental state." The psychological stages of a merge conflict: denial, anger, bargaining with git, depression, and finally just force-pushing to main when nobody's looking.

Finally found the data center where my AWS instances are running. Turns out "elastic compute cloud" is just cotton balls on shelves. No wonder my database queries are taking forever - they're being processed by literal fluff. At least their disaster recovery plan is solid: a spray bottle and a fan.

The Linux penguin mascot staring at you with those innocent eyes while gaslighting the entire developer community. Classic corporate damage control strategy: "It's not a bug, it's a feature." The number of times I've heard this excuse after pushing untested code to production could fill a Git repository. Next time your app crashes, just tell your boss it's an "unexpected opportunity for user creativity."

Oh. My. GOD. Shutdown a laptop? What is this blasphemy?! The sheer AUDACITY of normal people thinking programmers ever turn off our precious machines! 💻 Our laptops aren't just devices—they're life support systems running 47 Docker containers, 18 VS Code windows, and that one Stack Overflow tab from 2019 we're CONVINCED we'll need someday! Shutdown? Please! We just close the lid and pray it survives another night in sleep mode. Our uptime isn't measured in hours—it's measured in VERSIONS OF CHROME THAT HAVE COME AND GONE since our last reboot! 🔥