Your Outie Writes Unit Tests

Content CS GRAD WHAT IS MY PURPOSED A YOU BUILD MEDIOCRE BUGGY APPS FOR A SMALL COMPANY, OR YOU'RE A TINY COG IN A SOULLESS CORPORATE MACHINE CS GRAD OH. MY GOD

Content GENTLEMEN, WITH GREAT PLEASURE 1 ANNOUNCE THE WHOLE SUB THAT I TRIED MAKING AN APP FOR THE FIRST TIME, AND EACH SYNTAX ERROR HAVE MADE ME RESPECT PROGRAMMERS MORE

Remember when coding meant wrestling with assembly and reading manuals thicker than your college textbook? Those 70s programmers didn't have Stack Overflow to cry on—they had biceps from carrying documentation and nightmares about memory allocation. Fast forward to modern times where we're practically coddled by interpreters that say "Aww, you forgot a semicolon? No worries, I'll pretend I didn't see that." The hardest thing we do now is decide which framework to abandon next month. Every time I have to touch low-level code, I silently thank the buff psychopaths who came before us. They weren't programmers—they were digital blacksmiths forging code with their bare hands.

When your antivirus flags a "Hello World" program as malware. That moment when Visual Studio thinks your perfectly innocent C++ code is actually a sophisticated cyber attack. The compiler's paranoia level is over 9000! Meanwhile, you're just sitting there like a misunderstood genius whose revolutionary "print" statement is clearly too powerful for this world. Security systems trembling before the might of your semicolons.

The difference between x -= 1 and x =- 1 is just one space, but the consequences are catastrophic. One decrements a variable, the other assigns negative one and destroys whatever value you were working with. Hours of debugging later, you're staring at your screen wondering why your algorithm produces garbage when the fix was just moving a single character. Spaces matter. Just like your relationship status.

When your payment structure is based on loop iterations instead of hours worked... suddenly that while(true) doesn't look like a bug anymore—it's a retirement plan! The classic infinite loop that would normally get you fired is now your ticket to swimming in cash like Scrooge McDuck. Just don't tell the project manager why the CPU usage is at 100% and the app hasn't responded in three days. Ka-ching with every cycle!