When Your Computer Summons The Digital Demons

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Content Top 20 Replies by Programmers when their programs don't work... 20. That's weird... 19. It's never done that before. 18. It worked yesterday. 17. How is that possible? 16. It must be a hardware problem. 15. What did you type in wrong to get it to crash? 14. There has to be something funky in your data. 13. I haven't touched that module in weeks! 12. You must have the wrong version. 11. It's just some unlucky coincidence. 10. I can't test everything! 9. THIS can't be the source of THAT. 8. It works, but it hasn't been tested. 7. Somebody must have changed my code. 6. Did you check for a virus on your system? 5. Even though it doesn't work, how does it feel? 4. You can't use that version on your system. 3. Why do you want to do it that way? 2. Where were you when the program blew up? 1. It works on my machine.

Ah, the Stockholm subway map - the perfect visual metaphor for what happens when you try to merge to main after just 4 hours of Git experience. That tangled mess of colored lines intersecting in chaotic ways? That's your branch history after you've discovered git rebase , git cherry-pick , and the dreaded git push --force all in the same afternoon. Trust me, kid. We've all been there. Your repo probably looks like someone dropped spaghetti on a circuit board. Just wait until you discover merge conflicts - that's when you'll really need this map to find the nearest bar.

Content We develop a program for our clients Our clients have no choice but to pay us extra to fix the bugs It is according to the requirements but has lots of bugs Our clients have no choice but to pay us extra to fix the bugs

Ah, the classic "clean one thing, break another" cascade failure. Just like when you refactor that legacy code and suddenly 47 unrelated tests fail. The oven glass shattered because it couldn't handle being clean for once - much like how production servers crash immediately after you apply those long-overdue security patches. Murphy's Law of maintenance: the moment something is pristine, it will self-destruct out of spite.

Content Reading documentation in 10 min and then coding the solution Coding first and then debugging it for 10 hours