New Year's Resolution: Version 2018.0.1

The joke here is a brilliant double entendre about inheritance. The first person mentions inheriting a COBOL codebase last touched by someone's mom in the 90s (literal inheritance), while the reply points out that's not how programming inheritance works (you know, the OOP concept where Child extends Parent, not where your actual parent leaves you legacy code). Nothing says "congratulations on your new job" quite like being handed 30-year-old COBOL that nobody understands anymore. The real inheritance tax is the mental breakdown you'll have trying to figure out why everything is in ALL CAPS and what PERFORM VARYING actually does.

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Content Raul rcubitto 3d Merging your own PRs

Ah, the developer's retirement plan! What we're witnessing here is the digital equivalent of getting rich through suffering. The jar is practically overflowing after just an hour of coding - not because they're particularly bad at programming, but because the universe has a special kind of sadistic humor reserved exclusively for developers. At this rate of compiler errors, they'll have enough to buy a private island by Wednesday. Who needs a 401k when you have syntax errors? The real question is whether they're using JavaScript, where everything is simultaneously valid and completely broken at the same time. The irony is that they'd probably be richer if they just invested the time they spend debugging into literally anything else. But where's the fun in that?

Content In case you didn't know, the collective of Charmander is Stringmander

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