Take My Ten Points

Senior devs handing you a bottle of "Hard to swallow pills" only to reveal that "REGEX IS NOT THAT COMPLICATED. YOU ARE JUST STUPID." is the programming equivalent of gaslighting. Sure, and I suppose ^(?=.*[A-Za-z])(?=.*\d)[A-Za-z\d]{8,}$ is just light bedtime reading? Nothing says "I'm intellectually superior" like pretending that hieroglyphics designed by sadists with keyboard Tourette's is actually simple. Next they'll tell us that CSS centering is intuitive and JavaScript promises are straightforward.

The legendary Senior Developer—an armored knight impervious to the arrows of corporate chaos. While managers whine about velocity, customers rage, and deadlines whoosh by, this battle-hardened veteran just smiles and reassures the terrified Junior Dev that everything is fine. It's the tech industry's greatest illusion: pretending you're not being stabbed by a thousand project management arrows while mentoring someone who has no idea what fresh hell awaits them. That encouraging "Nice PR" is basically saying "Welcome to the thunderdome, kid—I've just grown numb to the pain."

Content Margaret Hamilton, lead software engineer of the Apollo Project, stands next to the code she wrote by hand and that was used to take humanity to the moon. 1969

Oh. My. God. The ABSOLUTE GENIUS of coding JavaScript underwater! 💦 Because let's face it - nothing masks the sound of your existential screams like several feet of water and the crushing weight of callback hell. When your promises get rejected for the 47th time, just dive deeper! The fish don't judge your spaghetti code, they just swim by with that blank stare that says "at least I don't have to deal with npm dependencies." Honestly, it's the only environment where "undefined is not a function" feels less painful than the water pressure on your eardrums!

That fleeting moment of glory when your code doesn't immediately set the servers on fire. You're strutting around like a superhero while your Slack blows up with messages. Just wait until they find that one edge case you didn't test for. Enjoy the dopamine while it lasts, friend.

THE ETERNAL COSMIC MYSTERY OF PROGRAMMING! 😱 One minute your code is a COMPLETE DISASTER throwing errors like confetti at a parade, and you're questioning your entire career choice. Then, without changing a SINGLE. BLESSED. THING. you run it again and suddenly it works FLAWLESSLY?! The universe is literally MOCKING US! The worst part? You'll never know WHY it suddenly decided to cooperate. The code gods just deemed you worthy after watching you suffer enough. Truly the most toxic relationship I've ever been in.