Me Vs The Bug

Content Programmer (noun.) A person who fixed a problem that you don't know you have, in a way vou don't understand.

Content Compiler: Error at line 308 Me: "What? How? My code only has 40 lines Compiler:

Ah, the sweet relief of ditching memory management. One day you're wrestling with pointers, incrementing variables, and manually allocating memory like some digital janitor. The next day you're in Python's cushy automatic garbage collection paradise where the computer does all that tedious work for you. It's like trading in your stick shift for an automatic and never looking back at the clutch pedal. C++ developers in the audience are currently grinding their teeth at this gross oversimplification while secretly envying the Python dev's 3-hour lunch breaks.

The universal programmer's defense mechanism in its natural habitat. First comes the suggestion that code might be the problem, followed immediately by the instinctive denial that echoes through cubicles worldwide. The irony? It's always a software issue... right after you've spent hours swearing it couldn't possibly be. That moment of realization usually hits around commit #47 when you discover that semicolon you deleted "because it looked funny."

Content What we say What we mean Horrible hack Horrible hack that I didn't write Temporary workaround Horrible hack that I wrote It's broken There are bugs in your code It has a few issues There are bugs in my code Obscure Someone else's code doesn't have comments Self-documenting My code doesn't have comments That's why it's an awesome language It's my favorite language and it's really easy to do something in it. You're thinking in the wrong mindset It's my favorite language and it's really hard to do something in it. I can read this Perl script I wrote this Perl script I can't read this Perl script I didn't write this Perl script Bad structure Someone else's code is badly organized Complex structure My code is badly organized Bug The absence of a feature I like Out of scope The absence of a feature I don't like Clean solution It works and I understand it We need to rewrite it It works but I don't understand it emacs is better than vi it's too peaceful here, let's start a flame war vi is better than emacs It's too peaceful here, let's start a flame war IMHO You are wrong Legacy code It works, but no one knows how XCquitVESCESCC I don't know how to quit vi

Content Having a bug and thinking it's just a semicolon that's missing The code is 100 correct and there must be an error in the programming language It's probably the compiler It isn't the compiler and the error must be in the ALU of the CPU The CPU is fine and the error must be inside logic of basic set theory itself Seems like I just found an error in the fabric of the universe It was a missing semicolon all time long