It's Honest Work If You're Honestly Wired

Content WORKING ON A ONE-OFF PROJECT 3 HRS LATER ARE YOU DONE WITH AUTOMATION YET? LAST FEW BUGS. I SHOULD PROBABLY AUTOMATE THIS STEP. IT WILL SAVE ME 6 MINS NEXT TIME. 6 HRS LATER WHY DON'T YOU JUST DO IT MANUALLY FOR NOW? GO AWAY 0,108

Content When you get frustrated with fixing a bug, so you decide to work on an unrelated issue instead and when you go back to the original bug, it is fixed. V A 772 C 2Ar sin cOs 300 45 60 1 2 12 2 NIS NIH tan 7 wSi 2x 60 30 XV3 V tr tan (6) sin xdx -cos C 10 dx tgxC COS' 2 X tgxdx -In cos x X Inig sinx dx -arcig dx -In 8rad ax bx 6 0 b ax 725 0 b? - 4ac

Content Programmer - Translation Guide What Progammers Say What Progammers Mean Horrible hack Horrible hack that I didn't write Temporary workaround Horrible hack that I wrote It's broken There are bugs in your code It has a few issues obscure There are bugs in my code Someone else's code doesn't have comments Self-documenting My code doesn't have comments That's why it's an awesome It's my favorite language and it's really easy to language do something in it You're thinking in the It's my favourite language and it's really hard wrong mindset to do something in it I can read this Perl script I wrote this Perl script I can't read this Perl script I didn't write this Perl script Bad structure Complex structure Someone else's code is badly organised My code is badly organised Bug Out of scope The absence of a feature I like The absence of a feature I don't like Clean solution It works and I understand it We need to rewrite it It works but I don't understand it emacs is better than vi vi is better than emacs It's too peaceful here, let's start a flame war It's too peaceful here, let's start a flame war IMHO You are wrong Legacy code It works, but no one knows how X Cquit ESCIESCTC I don't know how to quit vi Suboptimal implementation The worst errors ever inflicted on humankind That can't be done It can be done, but it's boring and I don't want to do it No problem, people do this all the time. It's an easy fix. You might be the most idiotic person I've ever encountered Put that bug in the backlog Let's agree nobody ever mentions it again and with low priority ppl who do, will be shot These test environments are too brittle Proof-of-Concept Works on my machine. Have you tried restarting it? What I wrote Perfect solution How Sales Marketing are promoting it

Ah, the classic case of unintentional boolean logic in the wild! The sign says "We don't accept bills higher than 50 AND 100" which logically means they don't accept bills that are simultaneously higher than both 50 and 100. But since any bill higher than 100 is automatically higher than 50, this statement actually means "We don't accept bills higher than 100" - making the 50 completely redundant. Twenty years of coding and I still see this stuff everywhere. The number of times I've had to explain to product managers why "if user is premium AND has subscription" isn't what they actually meant... I've lost count. This is why we can't have nice things in production.

Content WHEN I TRY TO FIX A BUG It'll still probably be wrong, but it'll be differently wrong.

The most honest answer in tech history. Nobody has a heroic origin story—we're all just professional Googlers with imposter syndrome and a knack for copy-pasting Stack Overflow solutions. The terrified expression really sells it because deep down we're all waiting for someone to discover we're just stringing together other people's code while pretending we knew what we were doing all along. The real programming certification should just be "Advanced Google Search Techniques 101."