It Scares The Hell Out Of Me

This is peak programmer problem-solving right here! The dev proudly announces their "really fast Rubik's cube solver" but the actual implementation is just a function that calls Reset() . It's the coding equivalent of solving a jigsaw puzzle by dumping all the pieces back in the box. Sure, technically the cube is no longer unsolved... because you've just reset it to its original state! This is the same energy as fixing bugs by turning the computer off and on again. Work smarter not harder, I guess?

Content You: - fairly average software dev - claims not to be competitive, but secretly dreams of landing on the leaderboard at least once - uses a full IDE; wastes a minute right out the gate waiting for it to start - still parsing the problem statement while others are already submitting answers actually uses a debugger when things aren't working Your competition: "Hackerman" - IntoSec maior - sits at his PC on a near-lethal dose of Adderall waiting for the timer to hit 00:00 - has automated scripts for pulling the input and submitting solutions, and his own library of helper functions for every imaginable problem class - knows vour IP at all times "-mhtwalters" - research scientist at Intel - does puzzles for fun that are harder than any job you will ever have - so utterly bored with the problems that he creates increasingly ridiculous self-imposed restrictions to keep things interesting - solved last year exclusively in APL on a System360 emulator, and still finished 9th on the global leaderboard - personal homepage is HTML 2.0 compliant "wihbr" - software dev from undisclosed Eastern- European country, making 200kyr for a company you've never heard of - is in literally every coding competition -Twitch stream is just a Vim terminal and the sounds of a mechanical keyboard - types faster than you can read or think "Tharg" - Linux kernel hacker - specialization in compiler design - is golfing in some esoteric language nobody has ever heard of - can mentally transpile any code he sees to assembly - measures his solutions performance in actual clock cycles - overworked Chinese university student, double majoring in theoretical physics and chemical engineering - has been locked into various educational institutions since he was 3 years old - only time outside of school is for piano lessons - can literally only see the relevant parts of the problem statement - you will not understand his solutions without a PhD in discrete mathematics "Samir Nagheenanajar" - outsourced IT support technician - does puzzles because he has nothing better to do during - forced to solve in Excel because he isn't allowed to install other software - can reveal the face of God using only BA - rumored to possess the combined knowledge and power of all Indian educational YouTubers

Content You good at computers right? My laptop going crazy. Can help to fix? Your laptop what brand? Jade. Ah? What brand is that? You buy from where sial? Never heard before. I bought from Challenger. It's called Jade. Really. You take picture of the logo show me. JaDe 01:06

The universal developer confession that hits way too close to home! That moment when you finally gather enough courage to reveal your spaghetti code to another human being, only to immediately undermine it with brutal honesty. The duality of programmer existence: spending hours writing code that barely functions, then sheepishly admitting it's a janky mess held together by Stack Overflow answers and pure luck. It's basically the software equivalent of "it's not much, but it's dishonest work."

Content Your router is rebooting g DevTools - 192.168.1.1reboot.html R DU Elements Console Lighthouse Network Application Memory Security Performance Sources meta htEp-equiv pragma content no-cache" meta name-"viewport" content-"widthdevice-width, initial-scale-1, maximum-scale1" link rel-"stylesheet" href-"https:maxcdn.bootstrapcdn.comfont-awesome4.5.0cssfont-awesome.min.css" link rel-"stylesheet" href-"https:maxcdn.bootstrapcdn.combootstrap3.3.6cssbootstrap.min.css" integrity- "sha384-1g8mTJOAS8jlAua5wDVnPi21kFfwwEAa8hDDdjzIpLeghjME1fgiWPGmkzs7" crossorigin- "anonymous" script src-https:ajax.googleapis.comajaxlibsjguery1.12.0iguery.min.i. " script type-"textjavascript" var targetUrl vari 0: setTimeout (function ()setInterval(ping, 3000) ;), 30000); function ping() .ajaxli type: 'GET' cache: false, url: targetUrl, success: function (result) window.location.assign(targetUrl); Adblock Plus , error: function(result) Styles Compi Filter element.style script t display: nc ); script head html head script Console Rendering top I 36 messages 8 No user messages 36 errors No warnings No info No verbose Issues Filter O Hide network Default levels Preserve log Selected context only Group similar Failed to load resource: net:: ERR NAME NOT RESOLVED Failed to load resource: net:: ERRNAMENOT RESOLVED Failed to load resource: net:: ERR NETWORK CHANGED 33 Uncaught ReferenceError: is not defined at ping (reboot.html:19) O LOg XMLHttpRequests C Eager evaluation Auto complete from history W Evaluate triggers user activatio ProdrammerHumor.io

OH. MY. GOD. The absolute DIABOLICAL GENIUS of this strategy! 🧠💥 Who needs Stack Overflow when you can manipulate the entire developer community's superiority complex?! Post a question from one account, then swoop in with another account and answer it COMPLETELY WRONG. Watch in unholy glee as an army of keyboard warriors TRIPS OVER THEMSELVES to correct you! It's like summoning demons except the incantation is "I think JavaScript is a compiled language" and suddenly you've got 47 people writing dissertations on interpreters. PURE. EVIL. BRILLIANCE.