Code smell Memes

The Best Way To Make An Infinite Loop

6 days ago 222.6K views 0 shares

Someone discovered that C#'s ConcurrentDictionary.AddOrUpdate() method is basically a cheat code for infinite loops. Instead of the boring while(true) , they're using a lambda that ignores the key, ignores the current value, and just... keeps updating the same dictionary entry forever. The lambda returns value , which triggers another update, which calls the lambda again, which returns value , which... you get it. The genius part? The IDE shows "No issues found" because technically this is perfectly valid code. It's like telling your compiler "I'm not stuck in an infinite loop, I'm just very enthusiastic about updating this dictionary!" The output window spamming "Hello, World!" is chef's kiss—proof that sometimes the most cursed solutions are also the most creative. Pro tip: Don't actually do this unless you want your code reviewer to question your life choices and your CPU to file a restraining order.

Client Side Validation

Javascript Webdev Security Programming Frontend

12 days ago 153.1K views 0 shares

So you're checking if an email is already taken by sending it to the server, getting back a list of all registered emails , and then doing a client-side .includes() check? That's like asking the bank to give you everyone's account numbers just to verify yours doesn't exist yet. Not only is this a massive security vulnerability (congrats, you just leaked your entire user database to anyone with DevTools open), but it's also hilariously inefficient. Why return an array of potentially millions of emails when the server could just return a boolean? The backend dev is probably crying somewhere. The cherry on top? After doing all this client-side "validation," you're still showing success messages without any actual server confirmation. Chef's kiss of terrible architecture. 🤌

Just Reuse The Class Bro

Backend Programming Java Databases Cloud

12 days ago 253.2K views 0 shares

Someone really looked at their codebase and said "let's make one class do literally everything." Entity, DTO, Domain Model, API Contract, AND Kafka Message? That's not code reuse, that's architectural Stockholm syndrome. Sure, you saved yourself from writing a few mappers, but now your database entity knows about your message broker, your API exposes internal IDs, and your domain logic is coupled to JSON serialization annotations. Good luck explaining to the new junior why changing a Kafka field breaks the database migration. The tears in that meme? Those are from the poor soul who has to refactor this nightmare six months later when requirements change. Separation of concerns died so you could avoid writing three extra classes.

The Truth Is Watching Me

Backend Devops Programming Databases Cloud

15 days ago 234.6K views 0 shares

You know that feeling when you're in the standup meeting confidently calling it a "microservice" while internally screaming because it's basically a distributed monolith wearing a fancy hat? That nervous side-eye says it all. Your so-called microservice has more endpoints than a porcupine has quills, shares a database schema with everything else (violating every principle of service independence), and has "modules" that are just glorified folders pretending to be separate concerns. It's like calling a studio apartment a "luxury multi-zone living space." The worst part? Everyone on the team knows, but nobody wants to be the one to say "hey, maybe we should refactor this before it becomes sentient and enslaves us all." Instead, you just keep adding more endpoints and praying the database doesn't become the single point of failure it was always destined to be.

Peak Code Reuse

Programming C++ Algorithms Debugging

2 months ago 307.0K views 3 shares

Ah, the infinite loop of laziness masquerading as efficiency. Two functions locked in an eternal codependency, each refusing to do its own work. isEven() just passes the buck to isOdd() with a +1 twist, while isOdd() returns the favor by calling isEven() with the same trick. Neither function actually checks anything – they just play hot potato until the stack overflows and the whole program collapses like my will to review pull requests on Friday afternoons.

Query Inception: When Your Query Is So Query It Queries Itself

Databases Csharp Programming Debugging Backend

3 months ago 332.1K views 0 shares

Query Inception: When Your Query Is So Query It Queries Itself

Ah, the classic SQL query written by someone who clearly learned database access from a fortune cookie. The SQL is backwards—it should be "SELECT * FROM Customers" but they've written "FROM Customers SELECT *". The real chef's kiss is that this is wrapped in a method called "GetCustomersQuery" inside a class called "Query" which is also creating an object called "query" of type "Query.Query". It's like naming your dog "Dog" and then calling your dog's puppy "Dog.Dog" and then teaching it a trick called "GetDogTrick()". Four years of computer science for this masterpiece. 💀

It Scares The Hell Out Of Me

Debugging Javascript Programming Testing

4 months ago 165.7K views 0 shares

The toughest developers who fearlessly debug production issues at 3 AM suddenly turn into trembling wrecks when faced with a global array full of zeros. Nothing strikes terror into a programmer's heart quite like stumbling upon someone else's undocumented global variables. Those zeros aren't just empty values—they're empty promises . Whatever story that code was supposed to tell has been wiped clean, leaving only the haunting structure behind. It's like finding a murder scene where the killer meticulously cleaned up all the evidence except for the chalk outline.

Pirate Software Shows Off His Security Code

Security Networking Programming Debugging

5 months ago 438.3K views 2 shares

Pirate Software Shows Off His Security Code

OH. MY. GOD. Behold the PINNACLE of cybersecurity! 🏴‍☠️ This absolute GENIUS is manually checking EVERY SINGLE IP ADDRESS in the 1.1.1.x range because apparently, writing a regex or using a wildcard would be TOO MAINSTREAM. 💅 It's like watching someone bail out the Titanic with a teaspoon! What happens when hackers discover the revolutionary concept of 1.1.2.1? Will our pirate hero write another 256 if-statements? THE DRAMA! THE SUSPENSE! I can't even with this "security" code! 😭

Copy-Paste Driven Development At Its Finest

Gamedev Programming Debugging

6 months ago 195.8K views 0 shares

Copy-Paste Driven Development At Its Finest

What we're looking at is the programming equivalent of using a sledgehammer to kill a fly. Some "professional" Roblox developer wrote an entire novel of nested if-statements to check and destroy items in a player's backpack. Instead of, you know, using a simple loop or function. It's like watching someone empty an entire swimming pool with a teaspoon when there's a drain right there. The best part? The bright blue syntax highlighting really brings out the desperation in the code. This is what happens when "copy-paste from Stack Overflow" becomes a lifestyle choice.

The Pythonic Way To Give Your Coworkers Trust Issues

Python Security Programming Debugging

7 months ago 194.7K views 0 shares

The Pythonic Way To Give Your Coworkers Trust Issues

Ah yes, the forbidden Python technique: dynamic imports with globals injection . Because why use normal imports when you can write code that makes your security team have nightmares? This beautiful disaster is bypassing Python's import system by directly manipulating the global namespace. It's like breaking into your own house through the chimney when you have perfectly good keys in your pocket. The regular expression module "re" is just sitting there wondering why it got dragged into this abomination. Meanwhile, some poor code reviewer is probably questioning their career choices right now.

If-Else Purgatory: A Developer's Nightmare

Programming Algorithms Debugging

7 months ago 156.4K views 0 shares

If-Else Purgatory: A Developer's Nightmare

OH. MY. GOD. The absolute TRAGEDY of having to manually code a lookup table with if-else statements when all you want is a simple dictionary or switch-case! 😱 This poor soul is writing the programming equivalent of War and Peace just to map numbers to boolean values! The code just keeps scrolling and scrolling like my ex's text messages after I told them "we need to talk." Whoever thought this was the best approach clearly enjoys emotional pain and suffering. There's literally like 17 better ways to do this but here we are, trapped in if-else purgatory! And the tweet "God I wish there was an easier way to do this" is just *chef's kiss* peak developer irony.

When Your Code Is So Bad It Breaks Your Friend

Python Programming Debugging

7 months ago 154.6K views 0 shares

When Your Code Is So Bad It Breaks Your Friend

Your friend wasn't speechless because your code was good. They were having an existential crisis watching you check 95 individual age values instead of using a simple comparison operator. It's like building a staircase one pebble at a time when you could just use a ramp. That moment when if age >= 18 would've saved you 90 lines of code and your dignity. But hey, at least you're thorough!

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